1. It’th a pleazhure
Scientists in England claim to have proven that you really do look more attractive to people who are drunk. In related news, my new handshake involves serving three shots of whiskey.
2. Clone wars
Australia’s Olympic team has a boxer named Brad Pitt and a softball pitcher named Tanya Harding. Please tell me they have a skeet shooter named Dick Cheney.
3. Mouthing off
This lip-synching controversy from the opening ceremonies dragged on too long. Look, China: There’s a place for pretty faces who can’t sing. It’s called “American Idol.”
4. Dumped
“Note to self: Never again question this guy’s choice of robe.”
5. Faded
Sadly, in a few weeks most of us will have forgotten the Games ever happened, a phenomenon also known as New Kids Syndrome.
6. And …
Soon to be known as Jonas Brothers Syndrome.
7. Sunburn?
The next Harry Potter movie has been pushed back to July 2009. New title: “Harry Potter and the Ill-Advised Trip to Cancun.”
8. Scoop!
Rumor has it Ellen DeGeneres is expected to marry this weekend. Early buzz indicates she’s already snagged an exclusive interview with herself.
9. Enjoy brunch
And finally, Don Johnson will appear in the indie film “A Good Old Fashioned Orgy,” a golden opportunity to reunite with the mustache he was growing in the early years of “Miami Vice.”
