Games over
The Olympics are over and by now many of the American athletes should be back in the U.S. … unless they’re track athletes. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
PHILLIP THOMPSON plthompson@tribune.com
SCOTT KLEINBERG skleinberg@tribune.com
JIMMY GREENFIELD jgreenfield@tribune.com
SOXMAN redeyesports@tribune.com
BAG DOG redeyesports@tribune.com
1. What will be your lasting memory from the Beijing Games?
How Jamaica smoked us in track. Huh, I said “Jamaica” and “smoke.”
It’s hard to really associate these games with anything besides Michael Phelps.
The look on Michael Phelps’ face when the U.S. won the gold in the 4×100 relay. Priceless.
Anything other than Michael Phelps without a shirt on. Make it stop!
All the underdogs. Duh.
2. Which Five on Five panelist deserved a gold medal and why?
It took four years of practice, but give Jimmy the medal for getting potty-trained.
Pretty much anyone who had to appear on the same day as Phil. Not sure how y’all do that.
Phil, because I firmly believe it’s OK to give out gold medals for pity.
Tracy, for breaking sprint records every time Bag Boy asks her out on a date.
Soxman, for making us sit through only one of his rhythmic gymnastic routines.
3. You’ve seen some preseason games. Who looks like a major bust?
The party’s over for Matt Leinart, which is ironic for him.
Orton, and, well, yeah … Yeah. So … What now?
Jerry Angelo.
Soxman is too clean to comment on anyone’s bust.
“Major Bust.” That sounds like a Pamela Anderson parody of “Private Benjamin.”
4. How would you fix the Bears’ defense?
Blitz like there’s no tomorrow … because it feels that way when they’re on the field that long.
A Band-Aid and a little Neosporin. … The rest is up to Lovie.
I’d hire Tim Donaghy.
Feed the defensive line Imodium AD — it’s supposed to stop the runs.
Don’t. Say. “Fix.”
5. Wayne Gretzky’s son could battle Joe Montana’s son for starting QB. Who wins?
I wouldn’t bet against Mrs. Gretzky’s son. Oh yeah, I went there, Janet.
Gretzky’s son skates to a win … Joe Montana’s on thin ice.
Well, I know who Gretzky’s mom would bet on.
Gretzky. Rumor has it Joe’s son leads a secret life as a singer named Hannah.
Gretzky’s son. He shouldn’t have any teeth left to knock out.
