Replay!
Good ol’ Bag Boy is here! Just pretend like you don’t notice him. It’s good for his self-esteem. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Baseball is using instant replay. What else could use instant replay?
Tracy Swartz: Drunk dialers. They need to work on getting the call right.
Jimmy Greenfield: Leo’s parents’ decision to not use birth control.
Leo Ebersole: New England Patriots paternity test results.
Philip Thompson: That decision by MLB … Just kidding. I like the move, I just don’t like Bud Selig.
Bag Boy: Any old episode of “Baywatch.” Just sayin’.
Why is the LPGA requiring all players to speak English?
Tracy Swartz: First Michelle Wie, now the dictionary. The LPGA is manning up. ELPGA?
Jimmy Greenfield: It’s good to talk good English.
Leo Ebersole: So everyone has a clear definition of “discrimination.”
Philip Thompson: Because golf has a history of being too inclusive, and it needs to stop.
Bag Boy: A dumb rule, considering half the crap in this country is being sold to foreigners.
The Tribune has selected five Cubs bidders. What’s the next step?
Tracy Swartz: Making a good pitch, then opening up the wallet. (The Wrigleyville way.)
Jimmy Greenfield: Sell the team. Take the cannoli.
Leo Ebersole: They have to bounce across the big bouncy balls without falling in the mud.
Philip Thompson: Sam Zell just called and said, “Dance, monkeys!” I don’t think he’s kidding.
Bag Boy: Call every one except Mark Cuban and say “Sorry, we’ve gone with another group.”
Which sports figure should be at the Democratic National Convention?
Tracy Swartz: A-Rod. He can’t help himself around a group of attractive, young donkeys.
Jimmy Greenfield: Vida Blue, Clinton Portis and Johnny Liar.
Leo Ebersole: Brett Favre, who can double as the party mascot.
Philip Thompson: Sorry in advance for this: Ozzie Guillen, because he’s never Biden his tongue.
Bag Boy: Any sports figure. Don’t people know what really goes on at “conventions?”
Thatssofetch.com calls Crocs a “chick repellent.” What else is on the list.?
Tracy Swartz: Emoticons, Jimmy, Axe Body Spray, moobs, cat men, mandals, Steve Guttenberg.
Jimmy Greenfield: You’ll have to ask my former stalkees.
Leo Ebersole: Stamp collection, kitten calendar — take your pick from the Phil Thompson arsenal.
Philip Thompson: World of Warcraft, hair “product,” smiles that should only be seen at Halloween.
Bag Boy: Pomade, Members Only Jackets, my Saturn Coupe, Appletinis, I’ve tried ’em all.
