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Remember when “This Old House” guru Bob Vila was convincing rapt television audiences how much fun it is to strip 12 layers of paint from ornate Victorian ceiling moldings?

Oh the heady Everybody Rehab days.

Even I bought so much into the “I can hang kitchen cabinets, fill an attic with fiberglass insulation, build a garage” craze, I spent an afternoon shoving two steam radiators (each weighing more than a car) from one end of my first house to the other.

My rehab adventures, as well as the one where the plumber plunged through the bathroom floor and into the apartment downstairs, came flooding back as I read a new study about first-time home buyers.

Seems those born A.V. — After Vila — don’t want any part of plaster dust, AWOL construction guys and the, ahem, satisfaction of a job well done.

That’s according to a report from Coldwell Banker Real Estate that suggests that a huge majority of first-timers expect their homes to be more or less move-in ready.

In a survey of its brokers, the company found just 7 percent who say they’re encountering novices who are willing to look for fixer-uppers to buy at a lower price and renovate. Instead, 81 percent say their first-time buyers want their houses to be in ship shape from Day One.

This is a noticeable change from just a decade ago, the brokerage said.

“In the past, first-time home buyers were willing to purchase older, more basic houses in an effort to save money and break into home ownership,” said Jim Gillespie, president and CEO of Coldwell Banker Real Estate.

He said these new buyers probably haven’t roughed it before, and they’re not going to start now. “Today, this group has greater home expectations because they have grown up more accustomed to their parents’ lifestyles,” he said.

At the same time, however, affordability is the prime concern of more than half of the buyers. The first-timers, the brokerage said, want a bigger home in good condition for a low price. Even the real estate company worried out loud that these expectations are just too high.

“It’s important for first-time home buyers to remember that by considering a ‘fixer-upper’ for their first home purchase, they can build equity over time and move up and into their second-stage home that better reflects their expectations,” Gillespie said.

Spoken like a true parent.

But I see both sides: I spent 14 years, off and on, struggling with a stubborn old house that, in hindsight, apparently didn’t want to be coaxed from the 19th Century into the 20th. Ripping out old carpeting and hauling out tons of collapsing plaster ceilings took a huge amount of time, an investment I doubt I’d make again.

On the other hand — there was that nice profit when I kissed that money pit goodbye.

Some Chicago real estate agents report the trend of first-timers who presume they’re going to get the best houses out there for a song.

“Their expectations are unrealistic,” said Dympna Fay-Hart, an agent for Century 21 McMullen in Chicago. “They make lowball offers based on no consensus of gathered info. They’re interested in coming in 10 to 20 percent under for houses that are well priced.”

Or Christopher Motal, a Baird & Warner agent on the North Side: “The first-time home buyers I have worked with this year are expecting to pay a discounted price for the perfect property,” he said.

“The listings that I have that are targeted to first-time buyers and in need of minor updating are being overlooked. The only offers we are receiving are 8 to 10 percent below 2003 prices.”

Still, it wasn’t all that hard to find recent first-time buyers who went looking for a place that needed more than a little TLC.

“I was expecting to buy something that needed a lot of work,” said Chicago police officer Jay Warner, 25, who closed on his first home Monday. “I thought I could get a better price for something that could be updated.”

He’s generous with the term “updating.”

“We’ll be knocking down walls, redoing the hardwood floors, finishing the basement and redoing the bathroom and kitchen,” he said. “Pretty much everything.”

Likewise, Hillary and Mark Simbrowsky signed a contract this month to buy a home on the Northwest Side that hasn’t seen much change since the 1950s. They, too, plan an extensive rehab.

“The houses we were looking at that were completely done, they were out of our price range,” said Mark, 33. “We’re kind of excited not to have somebody else’s work, somebody else’s interpretation of what a house should be.”

But there’s something to be said for moving in and unpacking — no floor sanders, no raw drywall, no windows to replace.

A month ago, Shannon Melka and Tony Grigonis, both 28, closed on a new condo in Roscoe Village.

“I don’t think we were completely shut off to the idea of something that needed work, but [this unit] was pretty quick, it was pretty easy, it was very attractive,” Shannon said.

The two-bedroom condo has an open floor plan and an island kitchen with high-end appliances. Tony said they felt constrained by time, money and lack of handiness.

“Shannon and I, we don’t have too much experience fixing things up,” he said. “We would have been open, I guess, to some superficial improvements.”

So far, he said, that’s a towel bar and toilet-paper holder.

The Coldwell Banker report said that though first-time buyers are cost conscious, their financial priorities have shifted.

A decade ago, their No. 1 concern was in coming up with a down payment, though now — even in this era of more stringent demands from mortgage lenders — down payments were ranked as the biggest concern of just 17 percent of the respondents.

On the other hand, good credit scores were a worry to only a passing number a decade ago; today that concern has grown to 17 percent of respondents.

Shannon Melka said she thought the couple went into the process realistically, in terms of money. The condo was priced within their budget, though they were tempted by a pricier penthouse with a deck in the same building.

“Your own worst enemy is yourself,” Shannon said. “You have to stay within your means. We had to ask ourselves, do we want to be house-poor or do we want to go on that vacation next year?”

And she admits that yes, as lovely as the condo is, she might be tempted to go the renovation route later to get the home of their dreams — a house, we hope, whose radiators are already where they belong.

– – –

What they want and who they are

A broker survey by Coldwell Banker offers these insights into the first-time buyer:

81% of first-time buyers want a place that’s move-in ready.

7% will settle for a fixer-upper.

71% are looking for larger homes than they were 10 years ago.

41% want a place close to their job.

35% are making a purchase as an “investment.”

46% look at 5 to 10 homes before buying.

The first-timer comprises 39% of the market today, up from 36% a year ago, according to the National

Association of Realtors. Among its other findings:

75% live in apartments and

18 % with parents.

About 51% are married couples,

11% unmarried couples,

25% single women and

11% single men.

52% are age 24 to 35 and

21% are 35 to 40.

$68,000 is the average income for couples, $44,000 for single women and $52,000 for single men.

About 28% said they planned to move again within 5 years, and 8% within 2 to 3 years.

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Hear Mary Umberger at 12:49 and 11:15 p.m. Tuesday and Thursday and at 10:30 a.m. Saturday and Sunday on WGN-AM 720. Write to her at Real Estate, Chicago Tribune, 435 N. Michigan Ave., 4th Floor, Chicago, IL 60611 or send e-mail to housingnews@comcast.net.