Mike check
Our guest is Mike North, who hosts a “Webio” show at wildfirerestaurant.com. Please tip him generously. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Tracy Swartz, tswartz@tribune.com
Leo Ebersole, lebersole@tribune.com
Phillip Thompson, plthompson@tribune.com
Jimmy Greenfield, jgreenfield@tribune.com
Mike North, mike@northtonorth.com
TOPIC: Which bird is more threatening: the Toronto Blue Jay or St. Louis Cardinal?
At least Blue Jays can flip a bird. Cards fans often lack fingers and dignity.
Trick question: It’s the F-22 Raptor, armed with AIM-9 Sidewinders.
Both. One’s blue, the other’s red, making them the Crips and Bloods of the bird world.
Actually, the Cardinal isn’t technically a bird. It’s a third-place team.
They’re both beautiful! That’s my sensitive side. Now baseball wise, the Blue Jays.
TOPIC: What strategy did The Game use to beat Bow Wow in Madden ’09?
Legal strategy. Sadly for The Game, people will forget his record fast.
He simply has a quicker pimp hand. It’s science.
Stole a page out of Bow Wow’s whack rapper playbook and ran Kriss-Krossing routes.
He put Rappin’ Homer in at fullback.
Who??
TOPIC: Who’s No. 1 in your NFL power rankings and why?
In our league, it’s Leo’s fantasy team, aptly named “Too Soon.”
Pittsburgh. Roethlisberger’s getting a whole lot of offers to go motorcycle riding.
Chargers. They should be No. 1 in every “power” ranking.
Bears. Also, I bought Matt Forte Hall of Fame tickets and the Brooklyn Bridge.
Da Bears — because dey are good.
TOPIC: Titans LB Keith Bulluck tells “Oucho Cinco” he’s gunning for him. Now you talk trash.
I’m Tim Gunning for Kyle Orton. Hillbilly jeans are not my lover.
SIU … whatcha gonna do … when the Wildcats run wild on you?
Sorry about No. 2, Mike. I know you know as much about rap as you do comedy.
I wouldn’t know where to start. Kind of like Phil with girls. I did know where to start!
Trash talking is wrong! Everyone should be nice. Boy, I’ve been away too long.
TOPIC: Ana Ivanovic did a “Got Milk?” ad. Make up a “Got …?” ad for another athlete.
“Got Milkshake?” Because Rafael Nadal will drink it up!
Tagline: “Got Advil?” Athlete: Peyton Manning.
“Got squat?” — Any sumo wrestler. “Got back?” — Serena Williams.
Pacman Jones — “Got bail?”
Questions suck. But former Cleveland Brown Jim Brown — “Drink milk or else.”
