We tried to send our panelists out West with the Bulls and Blackhawks, but they were stopped at O’Hare.
TOPIC
LEO EBERSOLE lebersole@tribune.com
PHILLIP THOMPSON plthompson@tribune.com
JIMMY GREENFIELD jgreenfield@tribune.com
TRACY SWARTZ tswartz@tribune.com
ADAM CALDARELLI acaldarelli@tribune.com
1. Why does California need four NBA teams?
Groupie demand needs to meet groupie supply, even if “demand” includes Chris Kaman.
You know why we need a franchise in Sacramento? More cowbell.
D-list stars need something to do on Saturday nights.
One for each season: earthquake, wildfire, award and fall from grace.
The potential baby mamas in a state that big need a 48-man NBA roster to prey on.
2. What’s happening in the United Center locker room while the circus is in town?
An elephant is demanding to know why the showers don’t have Axe body buffers.
Jerry Krause comes out at night to feed on socks and leftover PowerBars.
The animals are listening to “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” on their iPods during pregame.
Sword swallowing, though I don’t see the attraction.
A clown was mistaken for Jo Noah until the clown made a basket in the paint.
3. What prediction will Ryan Dempster make before next season?
If he wants to be right? That he’ll be the team’s closer again by May.
He predicts a fastball to the throat if he even thinks of saying “World Series.”
The Cubs will win at least as many playoffs games as they did in 2008.
After last season’s trash, get ready to see Dempster diving.
He’ll gain 30 pounds in the off-season and go 6-15. Wait, that’s my prediction.
4. If the Bengals have another tie this week against the Steelers, I’ll …
… perform an apathy dance in tribute to Ocho Cinco. It will incorporate flamingos.
… try to lift Bill Cowher’s ginormous chin with one hand.
… be shocked they didn’t get destroyed by the Steelers.
Hey, a tie would be nice for a Bengals fan. How about some pants too?
… eagerly await Donovan McNabb’s next rant.
5. College basketball is in full swing. How are you enjoying it?
It’s generally considered poor form to bring this subject up with a Northwestern fan.
I look forward to hearing Tyler Hansbrough’s name more than my own, I really do.
I consider all college games exhibitions until after Thanksgiving.
Like a swing, the Gators will come back.
How? I’m not.
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