Know who loves Major League Baseball? Major League Baseball. What else could explain the debut of the MLB Network on New Year’s Day?
RedEye figured Chicago should get a piece of the self-congratulatory action. Here is a sample of prime-time programming on RedEye’s fictional sports channel. Forget CSN; this is the Chicago Sports Narcissism Network.
MONDAY
1919: A Black Sox Whitewash
Gov. Blagojevich and attorney Ed Genson narrate the documentary that argues the White Sox’s loss in the 1919 World Series was unfortunate but not illegal.
PARENTAL WARNING FOR PROFANE LANGUAGE; AVAILABLE IN SPANISH
TUESDAY
Champions Forever: White Sox
Manager Ozzie Guillen and catcher A.J. Pierzynski recall the team’s memorable ride to the 2005 WorldSeries title.
Champions Forever: Cubs
Manager Lou Piniella and pitcher Carlos Zambrano recall the time they met a guy in Pittsburgh whose great-grandpa listened on the radio as the Cubs won the 1908 World Series.
WEDNESDAY
World’s Funniest Ron Santo Groans of Exasperation
Narrated for clarity by Pat Hughes.
Future Heroes: Joakim Noah
The next great Bulls star rocks a ponytail. (Repeat from 2007)
Future Heroes: Jonathan Toews
With Blackhawks pronunciation guide. (Repeat from 2007)
THURSDAY
Are You Smarter Than Brian Urlacher?
Contestants answer simple trivia questions.
Around the Loop
Round table debates.
Topics: “1984 Cubs vs. 2008 Cubs,” “Big Ditka vs. Tiny Ditka”
FRIDAY
Where Are They Now: Devin Hester
The answer will shock even the Bears.
In the Kitchen With …
Bobby Jenks reveals his deep-fried Velveeta recipe.
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Five on One
That Guy never takes a vacation from sports — except on Saturdays. Wait, who let him in here? Sign up for weekday Five on Five at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Coaches predict a Big Ten flood in the NCAA Tournament. What do you predict?
JIM: I predict Tracy will make a comment about Joakim Noah.
JIMMY: I predict they’ll be a 98-pound weakling soaking wet.
TRACY: That Jo Noah’s ark is filled with fanimals and twins.
THAT GUY: Sweaty pits. High-stakes b-ball makes me shvitz.
SEARS TOWER: The Big Ten will tower over the competition come March. Get it? Tower?
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Watch dog: WHIZZER
Here’s what I’m watching this weekend. (And yes, I will be flipping between Bulls and Blackhawks.)
Illinois vs. Indiana
2 p.m. Saturday, Big Ten Network
Iowa at Michigan
10:30 a.m. Sunday, Big Ten Network
Penn State at Minnesota
2:30 p.m. Sunday, Big Ten Network
Minnesota at Iowa (Women’s)
4:30 p.m. Sunday, Big Ten Network
Blackhawks vs. Nashville
7:30 p.m. Saturday, CSN
Bulls vs. Oklahoma
7:30 p.m. Saturday, WGN
