We mad
Just as our panel is gearing up for March Madness, reader Elle Ryan steps in to settle us down. Thanks, Elle.
Jimmy Greenfield
Leo Ebersole
Tracy Swartz
Adam Caldarelli
Elle Ryan
If the Blackhawks lose home ice I’ll …
… take my Ice Girls poster off the ceiling in protest.
… be forced to abandon plans to grow a playoff beard. R.I.P., front-mullet.
… trade my Stanley Cup for a Solo cup and my fist-pumping for keg-pumping.
… still hopefully be able to drive the Zamboni.
… Can-upchuck.
How are you able to sit still with all these exciting World Baseball Classic games?
Reverse cattle prod.
I’m eating my words about the Netherlands. Who knew roids-less baseball was so competitive?
The WBC? I don’t know, squat?
Get up Dutch! Wij houden van Oranje!
Sit still? Didn’t you see the Dominicans get burnt by the Dutch oven?
They were No. 8, then weren’t, then … How will you handle the Bulls roller coaster?
Through a combination of meditation and not giving a rat’s ass.
The same way I cope with real roller coasters: margaritas and Dramamine.
By strapping myself to Jo Noah. Rides, yayyyy!
By certainly blowing it.
By skipping “All you can eat pasta night” at Del Negro’s.
Why didn’t anyone buy Michael Vick’s house during auction?
The strange smell of dog carcass.
The listing agent kept singing “Who Let the Dogs Out?” during the open house.
People prefer running outdoors, not on indoor treadmills.
Why didn’t anyone tell me it was up for auction? I need a new place down there.
The sign on the fence said “Beware of Dogs.”
What’s Tom Brady doing on “Entourage”?
Slumming.
You mean, who’s Tom Brady doing on “Entourage”? … Probably Turtle.
Girls in bikinis.
Sorry, but I only watch “Yo Gabba Gabba!”
Tom’s getting advice from Drama on his baby mama drama.
