Hard ballers
Our panelists didn’t participate in Spring Training for Five on Five. It’s obvious, isn’t it?
Jimmy Greenfield
Tracy Swartz
Phillip Thompson
Supriya Doshi
That Guy
How will ex-Sox player and current Twin Joe Crede be treated at the Cell tonight?
Like a conquering zero.
Like Apollo Crede. Break out the Monte Fistos.
He’ll get a pat on the back, which for him could be fatal.
Depends on how well he plays — he might get cheered.
Like Blago showing up at Obama’s Easter dinner.
How would you describe the Cubs’ closer situation?
With my middle finger.
Gregg closes better than That Guy, who has trouble pitching effectively.
Lou Piniella’s about to pull a “Bachelor” on Kevin Gregg.
Catty. I predict a catfight really soon. OK, a cubfight.
2:55 a.m. at Manor. Make a break for the hottie or play it safe with the butter face?
Alcohol was banned at a Toronto baseball game. How would that work in Chicago?
Like banning hockey in Toronto.
Labatt should be banned here. In this country, there are no fem-bats.
All that beer inside Cubs fans is the only thing keeping Wrigley from floating into space.
Uh, there wouldn’t be baseball in Chicago if that happened.
A massive surge in productivity jump-starts the economy.
Who gets demoted first: Kosuke Fukudome or Dewayne Wise?
Well, Wise was already demoted to 8th in the lineup, so there you go.
Fukudome. But don’t worry Kosuke, downsize doesn’t matter.
A Wise man would say Fukudome, but that same Wise man has batted 0-for-10.
My vote is for Fukudome. Not worth the money or hype.
How many Dewayne Wise jerseys do you see out there? That’s your answer.
What should Masters winners wear besides a green jacket?
Orange pants.
Tuxedo T-shirt. When in Rome, Georgia …
Dollar-green underwear made of real money. I just happen to have a spare.
Green pants. That way they can be one with the greens.
Anything from Michelle Obama’s closet. You can’t go wrong.
