When the very ordinary .500 Bulls upset the defending champion Celtics in Game 1 of the NBA playoffs, it prompted some to dust off the old David vs. Goliath metaphor (the Bulls presumably being the overmatched giant slayer with the sweet slingshot). The whole literary reference thing got our nerdy minds thinking about other tales of yore to which the Bulls could be compared. Here are a few.
The 12 labors of Hercules
In mythology, the mighty Hercules had to perform a dozen really difficult tasks, such as slaying the nine-headed Hydra and capturing the guardian dog of Hades unarmed.
The labors of the Bulls
Part of the quest the Bulls must undertake to win the NBA championship: Wrest home-court advantage from their opponents, slay the Celtics of Boston using no Luol Deng, defeat the legendary LeBron James and obtain the championship trophy of NBC commissioner David Stern.
“Sleeping Beauty”
In the classic fairy tale, an evil sorceress places a curse on a princess, causing her to stay in an ageless sleep until she wakes from a kiss from her true love.
Sleeping Bull
This season, the veritable kiss of Bulls General Manager John Paxson caused newly acquired John Salmons — a relatively unknown role player with the Sacramento Kings — to blossom into a prince of a player currently averaging 14.3 points and 4 rebounds a game.
“The Taming of the Shrew”
In this pretty chauvinist Shakespearean comedy, the gentleman Petruccio courts Katherine, a fiery, headstrong woman who chafes against the relationship. Petruccio eventually “tames” her through psychological means.
The taming of the Noah
For most of his short NBA career, the Bulls tried to tame the mercurial Joakim Noah, who had attitude problems, bad locker room chemistry and hadn’t lived up to his college pedigree. But this season, Noah has matured into a solid player.
Five on one
They might not be champions, but our panelists sure know how to talk like they are. Sign up for weekday Five on Five at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
The topic: What would have to happen to make sports this weekend better than last?
Brian Moore: Jimmy actually wears pants this time. That image is burned into my mind.
Michael Hines: The NCAA would have to announce a playoff system in football.
Tracy Swartz: If the Bears won. I’m sure Jay Cutler scores plenty in the off-season.
Supriya Doshi: More winning! Yay!! I think I’m sleep deprived …
Jimmy Greenfield: Milton Bradley blows up good. Real good!
Watch dog
By Whizzer
Here’s what I’m watching this weekend.
MLB
Cubs atSt. Louis
3:10 p.m. Saturday, Fox
1:15 p.m. Sunday, WGN
White Sox vs. Toronto
6:05 p.m. Saturday, WGN
1:05 p.m. Sunday, CSN
NBA
Bulls vs. Boston
Noon Sunday, ABC
NHL
Blackhawks vs. Calgary
8 p.m. Saturday, CSN
