Hawk eyes
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Jen Patterson
Jimmy Greenfield
Tracy Swartz
Dr. Fantasy
Stick Figure
Tell the Blackhawks what you think about them.
I want them to commit to the playoff beard.
I think you’ll beat Vancouver in six games.
My fave Hawks, you top faux-hawks, Tony Hawk and the Iowa Hawk, er, Mockeyes.
Thanks for making me care about hockey for once.
Keep on winning, my beard keeps getting longer.
What could possibly happen next in the Bulls-Boston series?
Ray Allen could hit ANOTHER wide-open 3.
I could watch more than the final five minutes. But I doubt it.
Ben Gordon again will win the game by (grabbing) the seat of his pants.
Kevin Garnett may get an R-rating for his excessive use of F-bombs from the bench.
Instead of playing, they just hug it out.
Why don’t other sports have doubleheaders?
Well, the Bulls don’t because they would be down to four players after injuries.
Other sports don’t have players miss games for a sticky eyelid.
Who wants the Bears to play back-to-back? That’s how you get swine flu.
If football had doubleheaders, players might literally die midway through Game 2.
It would be too much of a good thing. Especially if it were golf.
What NFL draftee do you have your eye on for fantasy league purposes?
The Bears’ first-round pick. Oh wait, they didn’t have one.
I’m all about filling needs, so I’ll go with Heather Graham.
Tim Tebow. I just want to get a jump on next year’s fantasy.
I have my eyes on all players simultaneously. That’s part of my job as Dr. Fantasy.
In my fantasies, unicorns always dominate.
The Fire are in action tonight. Why are they playing a game on Wednesday?
Because it’s Hump Day and they knew Jimmy would be in attendance.
Wednesday is Prince spaghetti night. Duh.
Hump Day is the perfect day for action. Fuego!
I’m trying to come up with a joke that incorporates Hump Day and Fire …
Any day is a good day for soccer, silly.
