Life-changing Women
We recently asked our readers to tell us about a woman who has strongly influenced them or the course of their lives. Here is sampling from among the many letters we received.
Inspirational strength
It is hard for me to describe the impact my wife, Vanessa Vergara, had on my life when, a little over a year ago, she delivered our first child and — 10 days later — suffered a massive brain hemorrhage. I will always live in admiration of her for the strength she showed during childbirth and her long recovery from brain surgery. I can only hope to be as strong as she is.
Joe Seliga / Chicago
Life coach
Betty (“BeeJay”) Douglas, a retired Chicago Public School teacher-turned-hoop-dream-maker, is an inspiring basketball coach extraordinaire for Chicago’s inaugural Granny All Star League. Her unlikely cast of players: female “hardwood warriors” ages 50 to 70 who’ve taken a serious liking to playing the sacred game. “Queen” of the head fake and the “L” cut, BeeJay’s brave-heart style of coaching has given birth to my new mantra: This is my basketball. / There are many like it, but / This one is mine. / I must learn to master it, / As I must learn to master my life.
Debbi Chocolate / Wheaton
Loving care
When my mother moved to an assisted living facility near me, she was cared for by its loving staff. I raced around trying to keep up with everything there and at home. Now Mom needs care around the clock. Her caregivers bathe her and clothe her, but mostly they love her. Their gifts and flowers filled Mom’s apartment on her birthday. One off-duty caregiver drove an hour that evening to see her, even though her own young child is fighting cancer. On weekdays Mom and I are comforted by a woman who gently and affectionately tells us, “Don’t worry!”
I am free to hold Mom’s hand and be just her daughter again.
Julie Devane / Wheaton
My daughter
This is unnatural and backwards. I am writing about the profound influence my daughter, Rebecca, had — and has — on my life. She would have been 35 this past Nov. 13, 2008. She died 4 1/2 years ago. I miss her more each day. During her life she taught me the importance of saying, “I love you” after every phone conversation and visit. She taught me during her life and since her death about the power of words to heal and to hurt. She taught me about the need for relationships that are strong, loving and honest.
Rebecca understood more about people and relationships in her brief life than most of us who live well past our golden years. Above all others, Rebecca Lynn impacted my life — forever.
Gail Cutler / Chicago
My mom was a gift
A “with-it” mom by the name of Marge,
A mighty grandma though not very large,
A loyal friend, a trusty adviser,
With outpourings of love
She was never a miser!
Mary Anderson / Blue Island
The shining light
When my mother was 10 years old, Germany invaded Poland and she began an unfathomable descent into darkness. The youngest of nine children, she escaped the Warsaw Ghetto posing as a non-Jewish orphan, hiding her identity for more than five years. She and two of her siblings were the only members of her family to survive the war. She came to America penniless, graduated high school, met my father — also a Holocaust survivor — raised three children, 13 grandchildren and three great-grandchildren, and cared for her older sister, who suffered from Alzheimer’s. Although deprived of her youth, she was never bitter. Her perseverance in the face of adversity and her devotion to family make us all incredibly proud.
Nathan H. Lichtenstein / Skokie
Thanks for the music
When I hear “Appalachian Spring” or a Li’l Abner song, I think of Miss Billiter. It is a wonder that one music teacher could impact one 13-year-old in such a way. When I go to a concert or review my CDs, I can’t help but be thankful to her for the musical appreciation she gave me. My only regret is not being able to thank her for her influence on my life and tell her how I am passing it on to my children.
James Nicholas / Homewood
Feeding dreams
After 25 years as a self-taught organic gardener, when most are thinking about retirement, [my mother] Debbie Hillman embraced a new role — local farm and foods activist. She helped write and pass the Illinois Food, Farms and Jobs Act of 2007, an economic development and community revitalization strategy seeking to unleash this entrepreneurial energy growing among people. Debbie has spent her life trying to emphasize the “living” in “earning a living,” and is now bringing that philosophy to communities throughout Illinois.
Saya Hillman / Chicag
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Write us
Send mail to The Editor, Chicago Tribune Magazine, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611, or to tribmag@tribune.com.
