Mouthing off in front of your teachers would never be condoned, but all goes out the window when we start talking sports. Wanna take part? E-mail us at themash@tribune.com.
THIS WEEK’S CHATTERHEADS
MARISA CARROLL, WALTER PAYTON
ZACH ARIES, WALTER PAYTON
LYNDA LOPEZ, PROSSER
MICHAEL KENNY, WHITNEY YOUNG
MODERATOR: Recently, Cubs players Aramis Ramirez, Carlos
Zambrano and Milton Bradley have all suffered injuries. Suggest
something they could do to heal and get better quickly.
MARISA: Take a personal day — sleep late, wrap yourselves up in a couple Snuggies and kick back with an “America’s Next Top Model” marathon on Oxygen.
ZACH: I would suggest that Aramis and Big Z start popping some pain killers. I don’t care about Milton Bradley.
LYNDA: Eat a hearty chicken soup and go for a midnight walk around Wrigleyville.
MICHAEL: It’s simple: Stop being the Cubs.
MODERATOR: In honor of Mother’s Day, the White Sox, along with
the rest of Major League Baseball, played with pink bats. What
should the team do to commemorate Father’s Day?
MARISA: Actually win the game?
ZACH: Free beer day at the ballpark!
LYNDA: I would suggest inviting their fathers to sing the national anthem.
MICHAEL: Have an exhibition game pitting the White Sox players’ fathers against the Washington Nationals. It’d be an interesting matchup.
MODERATOR: The Blackhawks beat the Vancouver Canucks
in Game 6 of the NHL playoffs. What exactly is a Canuck?
MARISA: “Canuck” is the traditional term for bears that go ice skating, specifically those that wear tutus.
ZACH: Someone originating from the wonderful land of “Canadia,” obviously.
LYNDA: A nut? My best guess.
MICHAEL: I thought it was a beaver or something. Shows how much I know about hockey … and the animal kingdom.
MODERATOR: Henrik Stenson beat Tiger Woods in the Players
Championship. Give Woods some comforting words of advice.
MARISA: Tiger, I know the going seems tough. But my advice could never comfort you as much as the truckloads of money you earn every year. Seriously, you’ll be fine.
ZACH: Tiger Woods: 14 majors. Henrik Stenson: 0 majors.
LYNDA: Hey, at least your hair isn’t on fire.
MICHAEL: Don’t let Henrik get you down. Your name is still way cooler than his.
