Chicago Cubs: The Movie? While Hollywood drags its heels on the rumored film version of “Moneyball” — about Billy Beane’s success staffing the Oakland A’s — maybe someone else will decide to make a movie about the 2009 Cubs. Suggested title: “Money Pit.” RedEye rounded up a potential cast for our imaginary movie.
GM Jim Hendry
— Ryan O’Neal
Both of these redheads have had rough moments this year. For Hendry — the DeRosa trade and Bradley signing. For O’Neal — hitting on his own daughter at a funeral. Yikes.
Left fielder
Alfonso Soriano
— Michael Jace
This actor from FX’s cop drama “The Shield” is a dead ringer for the controversial Cubs slugger.
First baseman Derrick Lee — Will Smith
He’s a few inches shy of Lee’s imposing height, but every movie needs a big star. At 6-foot-2, Smith is the best bet to play the Cubs’ quiet leader.
Manager
Lou Piniella
— Mel Gibson
He’ll need to gain at least 50 pounds for the role, sure, but who better than Mel — a man even more infamous for his loud, angry verbal tirades than Sweet Lou — to play the Cubs manager?
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Five on one
Who needs pro sports when you can create your own summer showdowns? Sign up for weekday Five on Five action at redeyechicago.com/facebookfives.
The TOPIC
Is bags a sport?
Leo Ebersole: If curling is an Olympic sport, I say bags is.
Brian Moore: Sports cannot be played while holding a beer or under the influence of alcohol, drugs and/or tasty barbecue.
Tracy Swartz: Could you be more specific? Cornhole = sport. Fun bags = not a sport.
Mike Hines: Not until someone tests positive for steroids.
Stanley’s Cup: Yes — as long as you also consider drinking a sport.
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Watch dog
WHIZZER
MLB
Cubs vs. Pittsburgh
12:05 p.m. Saturday, CSN
1:20 p.m. Sunday, WGN
MLB
White Soxat Oakland
3:05 p.m. Saturday, mlb.tv
3:05 p.m. Sunday, CSN
