Making the Cut
Catch Marc Silverman on “Waddle & Silvy” from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. weekdays on ESPN’s WMVP (1000-AM).
Leo Ebersole
Phillip Thompson
Elliott Serrano
Marc Silverman
Evil Super Computer
What did we learn from the Bears’ preseason opener?
That Jay Cutler is the answer … to the question: “Will I still be soiling my pants on every third-and-long?”
We met the new quarterback, same as the old quarterback.
While Jesus had 12 disciples, the Bears’ messiah will be hard-pressed to find three receivers.
That Cutler’s Saturday night in Buffalo STILL was better than Patrick Kane’s was last week.
They were who I thought they were.
What is something Patrick Kane should NOT say Monday when he talks about his arrest in Buffalo?
“Thanks for the tough questions, guys. Anyone want to give me a ride home?”
“Common cents.”
“Can anyone break a $20?”
“Bob Probert is taking me under his wing while Scottie Pippen gave me a few tips on tipping.”
“That’s my side of the story. Anyone got a problem with that?”
The only thing faster than Usain Bolt is …
… Jimmy, from his bourbon to the toilet.
(Let me apologize in advance) … his brother, Lightning.
… a sack of White Castle sliders through my intestinal tract.
… the Cubs’ season getting flushed down the toilet.
… my hard drive after a daylong defrag.
Which team had a better weekend: Cubs or White Sox?
The Cubs. Leave it to Pittsburgh to provide the slump busters.
Until there’s a “championship weekend,” I’m not going to bother answering that.
Just like the rain did to the Air & Water Show, it was a wash.
The White Sox. They were the best baseball AND football team in Oakland.
The Cubs, who got some jet fly-bys. Those are some sexy machines.
Name one thing Tiger Woods could do better.
Let’s be honest: kind of a boring dresser. Has he ever considered faux chinchilla?
He’s a heck of a swinger. Don’t tell Mrs. Woods.
I do believe his post-shot-making fist-pump could use some work.
Worst Facebook friend I have.
He could upgrade his human behavior software to better blend in.
