Dog talk
Catch Marc Silverman on “Waddle & Silvy” from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. weekdays on ESPN’s WMVP (1000-AM). Take your shot at chicagonow.com/redeye.
Jimmy Greenfield
Leo Ebersole
Elliott Serrano
Marc Silverman
Stick Figure
What does Ozzie Guillen mean when he calls Jake Peavy a “real bulldog, not a fake one”?
He means Peavy will never be mistaken for Carlos Zambrano.
He means Peavy’ll mow you down with a fastball, and then maybe pee on you.
Is Ozzie having trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality again?
You see plenty of “fake ones” from Southern California. Peavy is real and spectacular.
I don’t think Mr. Guillen should keep his players on a leash.
What chance do you give the Cubs of making the playoffs?
Less than zero.
Unless someone takes Pujols’ Rogaine supply hostage, it ain’t gonna happen.
About as much chance as I have of making it into the Playboy mansion.
You know that South African “female” track star? “She” has a better chance of delivering a baby.
I still think it can happen. Me and my imaginary unicorn friend will have the last laugh.
If you were the Cubs manager, what’s the first thing you’d demand from the Ricketts family?
A clubhouse befitting a major-league team. That thing is just way too small. (That’s what she said.)
Season tickets for that beer-throwing idiot right behind the visiting dugout.
An exorcist, a voodoo witch doctor and a Native American shaman, just to cover all my bases.
A cash for clunkers program for my outfielders.
Postgame ice cream buffet. But no nuts. Some people are allergic.
How would you suggest Jay Cutler improve on his stellar home debut?
Next time he runs downfield, slide earlier. Don’t give linebackers an excuse to crush him.
Is it too much to ask him to do the butter churn after every completion? People pay good money for those tickets.
Do it again, but this time in a game that counts.
By registering his “hand cannon” with the NRA. Happy Jay Cutler Day!
It would be awesome if he also were the cotton candy vendor.
How can you tell when the Fire are playing a home game?
Thousands of people are happy and excited while I’m sound asleep.
A mighty roar goes up from the Southwest Side. Or, more accurately, the sound of wind breaking goes up from …
I’ve sat in the cheering section, and I don’t think Fire fans notice either way.
Headers for everyone.
A Chicago team actually wins.
