Meat market
The second season of Kevin Pang’s “The Cheeseburger Show” debuts at 7:30 p.m. Thursday. Surprised he made it two seasons without his arteries clogging.
Jimmy Greenfield
Kevin Pang
Adam Caldarelli
That Guy
Stick Figure
What could Lou Piniella do to ensure he’ll be back as Cubs manager next season?
Promise never to play another player whose name has “Milton” or “Bradley” in it.
Promise not to release Jim Hendry’s Mapplethorpe pictures.
Look, how am I supposed to know?
Marry into the Ricketts family.
Bring the Ricketts family cupcakes with sprinkles. They make everyone happy.
After four straight games in Boston, the White Sox …
… can start preparing for their lone important game left: Sept . 3 against the Cubs.
… are Big Digging themselves away from first place.
… are frackin’ wicked tahrible.
… can’t wait for the gay games in Chicago.
… are suddenly afraid big, green monsters are in their closet.
How would you heckle Michael Vick in his game tonight in Philadelphia?
Sorry, hecklers are cowards. Kids, don’t heckle.
Psych him out: “Your skills as a football player have been greatly diminished!”
Hide your beagle, Vick’s an Eagle!*
I’d fill his locker with Shih Tzu poop.
Can’t do it. Jimmy just told me not to.
What do you know about the Little League World Series?
It’s where some of the world’s greatest hecklers get their start.
That 12-year-old Jake Bowman’s favorite food is lasagna. Thanks for the scoop, ESPN.
I know that it makes me hate other people’s children even more.
As much as I know about chastity.
My team didn’t make it. Also, I don’t have a team.
What’s behind the recent rash of soccer violence on and off the field?
Note: This question was written in 1954 and every year afterward.
They’re angry about health-care reform.
* I didn’t make that up.
More importantly, what are you wearing to Lumen’s sexy pillow fight party on Friday?
Poison ivy.
