for Aug. 31to Sept. 6
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIRGO
Aug. 23 to Sept. 22
The sun is making you restless, and you want a hot date right now. Even if you’re hopelessly single, you’ll demand action. Tell that friend with benefits that it’s time for you to collect some benefits. Or announce to that on-again, off-again lover that it’s on again.
Libra
Sept. 23-Oct. 23
You’re master of the casual hookup. Anything more serious tends to give you hives. But right now, someone is falling for you in a huge way. Jupiter is telling you that you’d better deal with it instead of just ignoring him or laughing her off.
Scorpio
Oct. 24-Nov. 21
Water signs are great sexual tutors. You’re gifted at steering a lover into the pleasure zone even if she’s never visited there before. And you’re tops at teaching girls what a guy really wants. Mars is encouraging you to keep up the teaching.
Sagittarius
Nov. 22-Dec. 21
Just when you thought that loser of an ex had disappeared, he or she shows up on your doorstep. Mercury retrograde is creating some recurrences of old relationship disasters. Don’t get pulled into a negative sexual orbit again with the wrong person.
Capricorn
Dec. 22-Jan.19
Mars is still opposite your sign, making you wonder if true love will ever be in the cards. Don’t give up. This is still a great time to circulate and test your charms on a wide range of interesting people. Just don’t commit to anyone — yet.
Aquarius
Jan. 20-Feb. 18
Drama queen Venus is stirring up a big hornet’s nest of romantic trouble. Every little problem is getting magnified. But is it worth breaking up just because she has a crush on Brad Pitt or he has a thing for Angelina Jolie? I mean, who doesn’t?
Pisces
Feb. 19-March 20
A full moon is helping you to see exactly how to fix your relationship. Your honey needs to get a job. Your girlfriend needs to stop obsessing over her boob size. Surely, if you point this out, everything will be much better? Right?
Aries
March 21-April 19
You could step on someone’s toes, courtesy of Venus. Don’t tell your lover that her butt isn’t fat anymore. She won’t consider it a compliment. And don’t tell your guy you’re impressed that he’s wearing clean underwear. He won’t be amused.
Taurus
April 20-May 20
You’re feeling positive about love. You’re not sure how everything is going to work out, but you trust that it will eventually. The sun is giving you confidence and helping you maintain your sexual and emotional stamina.
Gemini
May 21-June 21
You’re full of wacky ideas. You’ll tell your partner that you want to turn her into a living hot fudge sundae, licking her from head to toe. Or you’ll announce to your guy that you’re turning him into your sexual slave. The moon says it just might work.
Cancer
June 22-July 22
At last, that hot girl will agree to go out with you. Finally, that hottie who is coming off of a breakup will decide that it’s time to start dating again — and you’re perfectly positioned to pounce. Mars is giving you fabulous timing.
Leo
July 23-Aug. 22
A moon opposition has you wondering where the hell your sexual mojo went. It hasn’t disappeared permanently. It’s just on vacation. In the meantime, don’t attempt any online seduction or you’ll end up sleeping with Craigslist’s number one loser.
