The following covers only a selective list of the shows coming back this fall.
MONDAY
7 p.m.
“House” (Fox)
After that long-awaited sex scene between Cuddy and House, we learned it was all in House’s imagination. Doc’s got major issues. But they’re being dealt with at the Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital, thanks to Wilson. What are friends for?
“How I Met Your Mother” (CBS)
Ted, she was standing right next to you! But we’re OK with waiting until you meet her in your class, professor. Barney and Robin sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. Lily and Marshall are living large downwind of the sewage treatment plant.
“Heroes” (NBC)
Sylar killed Nathan, but you’ll see him again: Sylar is taking over his body, thanks to some handiwork by HRG, Angela and Matt, who covered up Nathan’s death.
8:30 p.m.
“The Big Bang Theory” (CBS)
Sheldon, Leonard, Wolowitz and Raj left Pasadena to summer in the North Pole — all while Penny pined for Leonard. Aren’t there easier ways to play hard to get?
THURSDAY
9 p.m.
“The Mentalist” (CBS)
Red John, Red John, wherefore art thou, Red John? No worries, my friend. Patrick Jane is on the case.
FRIDAY
8 p.m.
“Dollhouse” (Fox) .
The Dollhouse was under siege! Alpha, a former doll (brainwashed man for hire), now a serial killer, broke into the facility, imprinted the most popular doll, Echo, with a new personality and kidnapped her. Alpha escaped; Echo survived but can’t remember anything.
“Medium” (CBS)
Allison had a bad dream. In this one her entire family gets murdered. Well, that didn’t happen but it gave her a nasty headache. Then a stroke, and now she’s in a coma.
SUNDAY
8 p.m.
“Dexter” (Showtime)
For the first time in his life, Dexter had a BFF. Dexter taught his BFF how to kill people and hide their bodies. The BFF liked this, a lot. Dexter tried to host an intervention but there was no breaking the BFF, so Dexter strangled him.
9 p.m.
“Californication” (Showtime)
Lew Ashby is dead. Hank’s love life is very dead, now that he’s going to be a single dad. Karen’s love life is the opposite of dead now that she’s moving to Manhattan. Charlie’s love life is double dead because neither Daisy nor Marcy wants him. Becca’s love life is the opposite of dead since she reconciled with Damien.
“Brothers & Sisters” (ABC) Tommy embezzled, left his wife and daughter, and ran off to Mexico. The entire Walker clan — and all of their issues — went to Mexico to find him. Kitty and Robert separated. Justin and Rebecca got engaged.
