Sammy Sosa’s revelation that he’s using a skin-lightening product and that he’d even consider endorsing got us thinking — after the obligatory “what the heck?” — about other products the former Cubs slugger could endorse.
Indestructible boomboxes
Slammin’ Sammy couldn’t have appreciated the destruction of his salsa-playing boombox at the hands of resentful teammates the day he left the final game of the 2004 season early. What better revenge than a line of boomboxes that cannot be destroyed by baseball bats — let alone corked baseball bats.
Louisville Slugger lite
When Sosa’s bat shattered, spewing cork all over the infield in June 2003, he said he accidentally picked up a bat he used in batting practice. The lighter bat enabled him to put on a show for fans showing up for batting practice. He could partner with Louisville Slugger to create a legal, lighter bat — it could be called the Louisville Slammer. (Kiss fingers, pound chest).
Fresh Look contacts
Along with his lighter skin, Sosa’s eyes appeared recently to be a different shade — if not color — than they used to be. Perhaps he’s lining up to shill for colored contacts. We can see it now …
