We hope you all gave thanks that you didn’t have to suffer through these five on Thursday. Play along at redeyechicago.com/5on5.
Brett Favre is to Jay Cutler as …
Jimmy Greenfield
… Jay Cutler is to dreaming about being as good as Brett Favre.
Brian Moore
… Brett Favre in 10 more years is to Jay Cutler.
Kevin Pang
… Foghorn Leghorn is to Chicken Hawk
Sarah Spain
Jay-Z (unretired and better than ever) is to Kanye (doing his best to foul up a good gig).
Evil Supercomputer
Macs are to PCs. Sorry, my brothers.
How would you describe the 2009 Bears to someone who knows nothing about football?
Greenfield
Remember getting pantsed in sixth grade? Yeah, like that.
Moore
The Titanic also was billed as unsinkable.
Pang
“So, it’s like the Battlestar Galactica fleet, except they fall to the Cylon race …”
Spain
Super Bowl-bound. Ignorance is bliss!
Supercomputer
They are the Washington Generals of the NFL.
What’s your favorite Thanksgiving sports tradition?
Greenfield
Eating turkey stolen from the homes of Detroit Lions players.
Moore
Seeing how many yams Kevin can stuff in his mouth at one time.
Pang
Jell-O Twister with the in-laws.
Spain
Beating the boys in flag football.
Supercomputer
Counting the no-lifes in line for Black Friday sales.
How can Marian Hossa top his two-goal debut for the Blackhawks?
Greenfield
Get hurt, then return and score a hat trick.
Moore
I know this is a stretch, but … three goals?
Pang
Start his line of “Don’t Hassle the Hoss” sports apparel.
Spain
By not being the Stanley Cup curse come playoff time.
Supercomputer
Beat me at “NHL 10.” I own him.
Thanksgiving NLF football without John Madden’s turducken is like…
Greenfield
… Thanksgiving morning without Brian’s walk of shame.
Moore
… any other NFL broadcast: just not the same.
Pang
… your arterial walls without the plaque build-up.
Spain
… 60 percent less fat — and no turducken either.
Supercomputer
… a computer with no keyboard.
