Mouthing off in front of your teachers would never be condoned, but all goes out the window when we start talking sports. Wanna take part? E-mail us at themash@tribune.com.
THIS WEEK’S CHATTERHEADS
Sara Crook, Barrington
Jimmy Loomos, Maine South
Riley Jones, Brooks
Zach Aries, Walter Payton
MODERATOR: How does a coach know when he or she’s about to be fired?
SARA: Their team starts glaring at them every time he or she creates a play. “We’re silently judging you.”
JIMMY: If they find all of their stuff outside by the Dumpsters of the arena their team plays at.
RILEY: The players don’t acknowledge their yelling anymore.
ZACH: When the GM gives them the “vote of confidence.”
MODERATOR: Some vandals painted UCLA’s bear statue in USC colors. How would you prank your school’s rival?
SARA: I’d take an old route — let three pigs loose inside of their school labeled 1, 2 and 4.
JIMMY: Repaint their gym floor with my school’s logo. Watch out, New Trier!
RILEY: Thanks to the vandals, now I don’t have to.
ZACH: Unleash a grizzly bear in their school, obviously.
MODERATOR: One couple ordered a Florida Gator wedding cake that looks like a real alligator. How would you top that at your wedding?
SARA: I’d just plaster my face on the top. My groom? Nope. Just my face. I’m sure the guests would very much enjoy digging into that: “Oh, her eye? My favorite!”
JIMMY: My wedding cake would be a giant roller coaster, with loopty-loops, corkscrews and a moving car on it.
RILEY: With an ice sculpture that looks like a Trojan horse
ZACH: Order a cake shaped like Chief Illiniwek. … I don’t think that would go over too well though.
MODERATOR: A Facebook group dedicated to QB Matthew Stafford is called “Staff Infections.” Come up with a worse nickname for another athlete’s fan page.
SARA: “We Enjoy Spotting Urlacher’s Catches.” Add a K and you’ve got yourself a very unfortunate acronym.
JIMMY:”The Salt Shakers,” for Texas Rangers catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia.
RILEY: “The Tom Brady Bunch.”
ZACH: “Law and Order: Pacman Jones”
