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WINNER

Kathleen Melia,

Chicago

Remember, chiropractor appointment after school today.

RUNNERS-UP

Paul Buchheit,

Chicago

They’re called cutbacks, honey. You have to bring your own desk and locker.

Chris Ellis,

Chicago

Time to repeal the “No Backpack Left Behind” law.

Bob Basso,

Palos Heights

OK, Mom. Are you sure all my school fees are in my backpack?