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Tracy Swartz: Tebow will save him. |
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Julie DiCaro: The neckbeard weeps. Hanie weeps. We all weep. |
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Soxman: It will be a close shave, but the Bears will clip Captain Neckbeard. |
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Ernest Wilkins: The crowd will go MILD! Also: Interceptions. |
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Brad Zibung: The universe will swallow itself. That or a Bears win. |
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Tracy Swartz: They’ll edge the competition by a whisker. |
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Julie DiCaro: Excess facial hair makes Kaner feel like a big boy, causes him to play big boy hockey. |
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Soxman: It may get hairy but the mustache is simply a precursor to the playoff beard. |
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Ernest Wilkins: They creep the crap out of their opponents? (Not John Scott though. He looks great! Don’t kick my ass.) |
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Brad Zibung: They help a lot but not as much as their Mulletcember haircuts will. Mark my words. |
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Tracy Swartz: It would end in a slam. |
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Julie DiCaro: A lot of Neanderthal-like grunting, and then whatever Suh sounds like. |
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Soxman: Another player stomp and Ndamukong may get “Suh’d” by the NFL. |
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Ernest Wilkins: “Only 2 games?” “Yeah, you made Detroit interesting for the first time since Barry Sanders retired.” |
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Brad Zibung: Pretty sure Suh the Cowardly Lion will let that one go to voice mail. |
4. Rumors have the Cubs going after Prince Fielder. What do you make of that?
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Tracy Swartz: Really, any fielder will do. |
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Julie DiCaro: I’m not used to the Cubs doing intelligent things. I feel funny. |
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Soxman: Rumors also have Prince playing at Wrigley Field … in concert. Let’s go crazy, Theo! |
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Ernest Wilkins: As long as they call him the Big Wiggle, I’m fine with it. |
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Brad Zibung: You’re expecting a fat joke here, aren’t you? In that case, you’ll be disappointed my friend. |
5. Why are so many coaches losing their jobs this week?
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Tracy Swartz: Owners don’t want their Christmas presence. |
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Julie DiCaro: Post-Thanksgiving indigestion makes a lot of owners cranky. |
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Soxman: It’s the best way to avoid paying the Christmas bonus. Humbug I say. |
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Ernest Wilkins: Better question: Why did people buy stuff on Cyber Monday that they know they can’t afford? |
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Brad Zibung: Because their teams suck and/or they’ve been covering up sex scandals. |




