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Phil Thompson: Not at all. My perception of Urlacher did, however. You lost, take it like a man, you big, bald baby. |
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Scott Bolohan: His beard and hair are much shorter than I anticipated. |
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Clark Jones: We know he’s not Jesus now—it was a brother with dreadlocks who got crucified Sunday. |
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John Dooley: Yes. I believe he’s an amazing quarterback when the safeties play 35 yards off the ball. |
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Christine Pawlak: He really can’t throw, but to quote REO Speedwagon, “I can’t fight this feeling anymore.” |
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Phil Thompson: “Marion Barber doesn’t have a leg to stand on¿and I would know!” |
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Scott Bolohan: “I bet I could hit a 40-yard field goal if I practiced a little.” |
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Clark Jones: “Wow, if Tebow can pull off this comeback, there’s hope for me and LeBron’s hair lining.” |
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John Dooley: “San Diego’s nice. I like Tampa, too. But what about Miami? Hmmm.” |
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Christine Pawlak: “Marion Barber makes four times as much money as I do. That ain’t right, Jerry.” |
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Phil Thompson: It would take a miracle to get in now. The good news is they just happen to know a guy … |
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Scott Bolohan: As hopeful as the Cubs are of landing Albert Pujols. |
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Clark Jones: Same way my stomach feels after eating those new smoked sausages from Dunkin’ Donuts: #sick. |
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John Dooley: Remember when Joe Pesci is gonna be made and is led into an empty room in “Goodfellas”? Yeah. That. |
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Christine Pawlak: Just seeing the word “playoffs” fills my mouth with bile. So, not good. |
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Phil Thompson: What’s going to stop the Colts from going defeated? #suckforluck |
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Scott Bolohan: Aaron Rodgers’ commercial shooting schedule. |
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Clark Jones: Don’t worry, some players from the University of Cincinnati told me they can handle our “little problem.” |
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John Dooley: Large reconstructed Optimus Prime to overtake Lambeau Field on Christmas Day. A man can dream. |
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Christine Pawlak: An asteroid the size of Texas, scheduled to collide with Earth in 18 days. |
5. Why was Tom Brady arguing with his offensive coordinator?
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Phil Thompson: Don’t question it. Just enjoy it. |
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Scott Bolohan: Some Ugg-ly play calling. |
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Clark Jones: It was something about chocolate dessert, Brady clearly mouthed the words, “No … FUDGE TOO!” |
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John Dooley: Coordinator blaming Brady’s interception on new haircut; Brady angrily denouncing older flowing locks. |
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Christine Pawlak: If your defense made Rex Grossman look like Joe Montana, you’d have a hissy fit, too. |
