By now, you’re probably in the process of making some New Year’s resolutions. On Friday, you started the day asking yourself questions. How did I end up sleeping at Bob’s aunt’s house? Where’s my car, and why am I driving a pink 1991 Yugo? Who was the blond, and why was she so angry? Then you forgot about it and spent the rest of the day watching football.
On Saturday you probably spent most of the day getting things straightened out: apologizing profusely to Bob’s uncle, swapping cars with that very strange Korean man, and getting the blond’s cat back after explaining to the kid that it actually wasn’t yours to sell despite what it did to your shoes.
So today you’re making some resolutions, like what monastery you’re going to hide in. But it’s important that you not overreact. Yes, you probably will have another drink someday, although perhaps not that green stuff from Ecuador. No, despite what the nun said, an exorcism is not really necessary. She was just being a little dramatic.
So you don’t need to make any special resolutions. The regular kind the rest of us are making today will do quite nicely. This is the day everybody resolves to lose weight and get fit. There are probably more cars in the parking lot of the health club today than there will be the rest of the year. I have to believe that if people set more realistic goals, they wouldn’t give up so quickly.
Personally, after two years of illness and inactivity, my resolutions are considerably more modest. The current state of my physique could probably best be described as fully matured mudslide. My immediate fitness goal is not pitching forward into a pile of slush.
Later this spring, I hope to get back to the machines at the Kroehler Family Y. If I were to try now, I’m pretty sure I would, as they say, become one with the machine. By this I mean not spiritually but literally, and it would take a talented engineer to separate my body parts from those of the mechanism. Hopefully, that will improve.
The key, I think, is to pick resolutions we can actually keep. If we, for example, resolved to recycle more, I suspect most of us would find it pretty easy to keep that one. After all, it takes no more effort to drop something in the blue container than it does to drop it in the green one.
Another easy resolution would be to abolish our awful stereotype as a town of impatient, inconsiderate jerks. How hard would it be to be a little nicer to people? Also, if you compliment people on their work, they’ll not only treat you better but they won’t spit in your food, so there are health benefits.
This year, it will become easier and cheaper to stay physically fit when Naperville Park District’s Fort Hill Activity Center is completed. But many of us forget that the library system already makes it easier and cheaper to stay mentally fit. Another easy resolution is to read one book every month of a type that we have never considered reading before. In a year, we’ll be different people.
Finally, one of the easiest resolutions is one we often forget: to treat family members nicer than we treat strangers. A lot of us get that one backwards. But if we can’t muster enough niceness to be nice to everyone, shouldn’t the people closest to us be the first to receive whatever niceness we have? Too often people make an effort to be kind and polite to strangers, then turn around and be less so to their children and other family members. If you’re looking for that last resolution for your list, give that one a shot.
As far as the new year is concerned, forget it. By next year, everyone else will have … well, except perhaps for the cat. Have a happy, healthy year, and please don’t forget to vote.
