If you’re even a hate-watching member of “Bachelor Nation,” you’ve probably noticed a recent pattern to how ABC picks these human loaves of Wonder Bread as stars.
Once upon a time in the early years of the show (whose current season ends next Monday, March 14), producers would try to pick a male specimen who might generate some buzz: heir to Firestone Tires, minimally famous NFL quarterback or son of Italian royalty. It sounds good in theory … until you run out of D-list celebrities willing to make fools out of themselves on national television, and your viewership wanes.
Then ABC found a magical solution: Choose someone America has already “fallen in love” with. A reject from “The Bachelor” becomes “The Bachelorette,” and then a reject from her season becomes the next Bachelor and so on and so on until the end of time (we can only assume).
It’s so simple but so brilliant: Watch one season of “The Bachelor” and you’re accidentally hooked on the next because you have to know what happened to that sweet dental hygienist from Oklahoma—or wherever—who charmed you (but not the Bachelor). And this reality juggernaut keeps plugging on long after all the copycats and pretenders have fallen by the wayside.
But do you know the complicated, incestuous history that led us to here, to Ben Higgins and inevitably Caila Quinn, up next? Let’s take a walk.
The modern era of “The Bachelor” begins with Brad Womack (Season 11). A man so nice ridiculous they named him the Bachelor twice. Dude chose two finalists but then dumped them both. One of those two was a little luckier than the other, though, because she, DeAnna Pappas (Season 4), became the Bachelorette.
(Season 12 was the last time ABC picked a Bachelor who wasn’t previously on a season of “The Bachelorette.” Season 12 also delivered the lowest ratings for the show. Not a coincidence.)
The second place finisher on Pappas’ season, Jason Mesnick (Season 13), went on to “Bachelor” infamy when he picked one girl but then dumped her for his second choice on live TV after the fact. They’re married with kids now, but people still call a switcheroo “pulling a Mesnick.”
Jillian Harris (Season 5) missed that mess by coming in third on Mesnick’s season and landing the Bachelorette gig. Somehow the sixth place finisher on her season, Jake Pavelka (Season 14), became the new Bachelor, possibly because he was a pilot and ABC could call his season “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love” (barf).
Ali Fedotowsky (Season 6) was one of four remaining girls on Pavelka’s season when she had to remove herself to keep her job at Facebook. Good decision on her part because she kept her job and then became the Bachelorette.
Now here’s where things get tricky: Remember Brad Womack, the douche who didn’t pick anyone? Well, he’s back for a second chance at love! Brad Womack (Season 15) is reinserted into “The Bachelor” lineage. His third place girl, Ashley Hebert (Season 7) rejected second place finisher Ben Flajnik (Season 16).
But then instead of choosing a reject from Flajnik’s season, ABC goes back and takes the first place girl Womack chose in Season 15, Emily Maynard (Season 8). Womack and Maynard’s relationship did not make it long after filming, but America so loved the blond single mom that they wanted to gift her more Us Weekly covers.
From there, it’s a straight shot to where we are now. Sean Lowe (Season 17) was Maynard’s third place finisher; Desiree Hartsock (Season 9) was Lowe’s fourth woman out; Juan Pablo Galavis (Season 18) was Hartsock’s seventh place guy; Andi Dorfman (Season 10) excused herself from his season after she made it to the final three; Chris Soules (Season 19) was her third man out; Kaitlyn Bristowe (Season 11) was his third place finisher; and Ben Higgins (Season 20) came in third on her season.
You’ll notice that in recent history, there’s been an overwhelming majority of third-place finishers getting tapped as the next man or woman in. Add that in with the fact that Us Weekly reported a filming crew following Caila Quinn around her hometown this week, and you have our case for why she’ll be the next Bachelorette.
Lauren Chval is a RedEye contributor.
@lchval | laurenchval@tribpub.com
