Ask Anna is a sex column. Because of the nature of the topic, some columns contain language some readers may find graphic.
Hi dreamboats! Spring has sprung, and you know what that means. It’s time for another round of quick and dirty advice; because time is short and so are our attentio-
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JK, I’m still here! Let’s do this.
Is there a reason not to break up with a girl who makes chipmunk noises during sex?
Because sex.
I really liked this guy. He ended it by saying he wasn’t “ready” to date. Then I saw he created a profile on Bumble. WTF?
Technology is ruining everything, isn’t it? A perfectly legit and comforting lie is now wasted. Thanks, dating apps! Also, SORRY. But do try to remember that it’s pointless to date people who don’t want to date you back. So in the end, you win! Now go have some revenge sex. Tell ’em Anna Pulley sent you. They’ll be like, “Who?” and I’ll continue to die my small, quiet death.
Is it easier to date if you’re smart or dumb?
When it comes to matters of the heart, WE ARE ALL DUMB. That’s sort of the point. The brain is like: “Hm, this thing you’re doing is a bad idea!” And the heart/loins are like: “But, boobs!” Also, smart and dumb are subjective terms. But generally speaking, I think smart, self-aware people overthink things, which can probably work against them.
What in the world is Lithophilia?
I feel this is best answered in limerick form.
What’s lithophilia, you moan?
It’s a painful fetish to own.
It means what you like
might be, literally, dikes—
arousal to gravel and stone.
How do I reconcile the fact that I’m ugly?
By building an amazing and epic life and honing the skills and aspects of your personality that others are drawn toward. Beauty is nice, but it’s not a prerequisite for a good life. I’m imagining the tombstone: “Well, he was hot, I guess.” You can’t change that the world is biased toward pretty, but you can choose not to be stifled by it. You can decide you’re going to play by a different set of rules. Start by not referring to yourself as ugly. You can also Google almost any successful person (who isn’t an actor) and marvel at how much they achieved despite not being “swimsuit-ready.”
Why am I dating a guy who, deep down, I don’t think I even get along with?
Because sex.
Anna Pulley is a RedEye contributor. Want to ask Anna an anonymous question about love, sex or dating? Send it below.
