Updated annually!
The best Halloween costume is Amelia Earhart. All you have to do is not show up to the party …@jesseberney
On Halloween we dress up as skeletons, but every other day of the year our skeletons dress up as us … @NOTVIKING
I don’t care that he’s “a four-year-old child.” His pirate costume is historically inaccurate garbage, and he needed to be told …@longwall26
Fun fact: If someone is playing Christmas music in October, you’re legally allowed to kill them & use their corpse for a Halloween display … @CulturedRuffian
For Halloween I’m giving out stern advice about the importance of thrift and gumption. ….@GianDoh
The worst part about breaking up right before Halloween is now I have to explain at every party why I’m dressed as half of a horse….@robfee
For Halloween I’m going as someone who has given up on life, but, like, in a slutty way …@AndrewNadeau0
This Halloween I’m going to dress up as me from last Halloween when I dressed up as future me …@online_shawn
After a certain age, the only Halloween costume you feel like wearing is “Brian Wilson’s bathrobe.” … @DJRotaryRachel
The hardest thing about carving a pumpkin these days is finding a newspaper to spread out on the table … @simoncholland
