Instructions: Click the box next to each tweet that amuses you — no limit to the number of choices. Voting closes Friday at noon Chicago time. Winner is published in the Sunday paper (with a week delay when I’m on vacation) Some tweets are lightly edited to remove profanity or improve punctuation, diction or clarity. If you see a plagiarized tweet, let me know via email — ericzorn@gmail.com — and send a link for evidence! I’ll change the attribution or make it “unknown” or attribute it to “various” sources. If your tweet is included and you’d rather it not be or you object to how I may have edited it, let me know and I’ll remove it as quickly as I can. And if you’d like never to be included in this feature, let me know and I’ll be glad to honor your request. If you know the Tweet is not original with you, email me and I’ll change the attribution. Some of the tweets are old, but if they’re new to me, then they qualify for inclusion. Answer order is randomized each time.
The poll is closed. Here are the finalists
In olden times people used ‘hath’ and ‘doth’ for ‘has’ and ‘does’ because they lost their teeth much earlier …@craiguito
“I never thought leopards would eat MY face,” sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party … @Cavalorn
Convince people you’re a time traveller by angrily demanding they tell you what year it is … @ItsAndyRyan
“I think they’re closed right now” and all the other marvelous lies we tell our children. … @Stonecolddad316
I’ll wash dishes all day long, but it’ll be a cold day in hell before I dry one. That’s what air is for … @HenpeckedHal
Let’s join our hands together and pray for my husband who very tragically compared me to my mother. … @mommajessiec
*takes long drag off cigarette* No one digs a well at the top of a hill, so what the hell were Jack and Jill doing up there? …@PopeAwesomeXIII
Before you decide to have kids you should know they expect to be fed multiple times daily, apparently ..@reallifemommy3
Whoever it was who let the dogs out should not be your primary concern. There are dogs everywhere. Corral the dogs. Stop blaming. Solve …@Contwixt
And here is the winner:
Whole Foods announced there was Prius with its lights on in the parking lot, and now I have the store all to myself…. @sixfootcandy
https://secure.polldaddy.com/p/10625812.js
Which of these top tweets do you find amusing? (Multiple selections encouraged)
