Pam Kostecki, director of the Crisis Center for South Suburbia, held an electronic candle in front of eight cardboard cut-out silhouettes Wednesday night at the Action Behavior Center in Tinley Park along 183rd Street.
The cut-outs were on display for the center’s vigil for domestic violence fatalities and marked the start of domestic violence month. The cardboard figures, from a young girl to a pregnant woman and a dog, represented individuals who lost their lives to domestic violence in the south suburbs and who were some way connected to the crisis center.
But Kostecki said there are a lot more south suburban residents who have lost their lives due to domestic violence. The center invests significant time into raising awareness for domestic violence because so many people suffer in silence and don’t reach out in time for help, she said.
Kostecki said Dianne Masters, the center’s founder who started the domestic violence hotline in her kitchen, lost her life to domestic violence after suffering in silence.
“Dianne’s story reminds us of how profound the cost of silence and the urgency of our work is,” Kostecki said.
The vigil Wednesday was the first of eight events the center will host this month, which Kostecki said is a critical time before the holidays, when domestic violence cases significantly increase.
About 30 people attended the outdoor event Wednesday, which included board members, area residents, volunteers, center staff and survivors. The center provided electric candles and the entrance was lined by luminarias decorated with butterflies.
Melanie Skach, the external affairs and program officer for the crisis center, said the glowing pathway represented the possibility for a pathway out of darkness, and the butterflies were a symbol of change.
Children handed out gun locks, which Kostecki urged people to take, saying one day they might know someone who has a gun or is at risk from a gun. She said 68% of domestic fatalities in Illinois in 2023 were caused by firearms.
The event also featured a raffle, won by area resident Mercedes Biddle, along with other opportunities for prizes, a bracelet making table, temporary tattoos, a photobooth, several boxes of pizza, refreshments and desserts.
A little after sunset, Kostecki invited attendees to hold their candles as she spoke about those who lost their lives to domestic violence, and a staff member shared the story one of the crisis center’s clients, named Sarah.
The center helped Sarah recover from physical injuries, provided legal support that “brought her abuser to justice,” along with emotional support and help finding an apartment, as her previous housing brought her severe anxiety flashbacks, according to the staff member.
Sarah returned to school and is now living with her daughter in a new apartment.
Kostecki said Sarah’s story is one of healing and resilience, but that not everyone is as fortunate.
About 51,000 women and girls were killed worldwide by intimate partners and family members in 2023, Kostecki said, which equates to an average of 140 lives lost every day.
In Illinois, she said, there were 120 domestic violence related deaths in 2023, which was a 110% increase from 2022. She said the majority of these deaths occurred when survivors try to leave or had recently ended their relationship.
About 60,000 calls were made to the Illinois domestic violence hotline in 2024, several center staff members said.
These statistics are “people, families and futures stolen,” Kostecki said, and the vigil was a time to honor their memory and recommit to being a “voice for the voiceless, a safe haven for those in danger and a break of hope for those still trapped in abuse.”
“As we stand together, let us proclaim a truth that cannot be extinguished, love wins,” Kostecki said.
Upcoming events for domestic violence awareness month include a trivia night, a fundraiser, a virtual lunch and learn series, a beer event and several coupon days at restaurants such as Jewel of Siam, a Portillo’s in Tinley Park and a Lou Malnati’s in Tinley Park.
More information for donating or participating in the events can be found on the center’s website, crisisctr.org/.
The center provides a 24-hour hotline, court advocacy, counseling, outreach programs and transitional housing for clients moving from the short-term crisis shelter. Emergency assistance services also include rent, car repairs, prescriptions and transportation.
The center also operates two resale stores in the south suburbs, where the community can donate items and clients can shop for free. The stores are operated by more than 100 volunteers and six paid workers, and is also open to the public and raises funds for the center.
Daniella Garcia, who has worked for the crisis center for over 18 years, said it’s important to allow survivors to shop for themselves, as many were victims of power and control and were not previously allowed to buy anything.
The center is also expanding, according to board President Derrick Lott. The counseling and administrative buildings were merged in 2024 and in the same year, a nurses station was added to the shelter for clients to get on-site care.
Brooke Holton said this care is important because in many cases the survivor’s insurance or medical is still linked to their abuser, and the on-site nurses station provides privacy and safety for the clients.
The center is also working to bring the shelter and the administration together into one space. Lott said the building would still be secure and safe for clients.
The center also hosts a fundraising gala every February. Lott said after attending the event in 2019, he immediately got involved with the program and became the president in 2024. He has learned a lot in his time with the program, he said.
“I realized that it’s not just women who are victims of domestic violence,” Lott said. “Now over the course of my tenure being on the board I’ve seen everything, and the people we’ve helped, and those people, that’s why I’m still here today.”
awright@chicagotribune.com
