When Chuck and Agnes Fruehe renewed their vows Thursday on their 71st wedding anniversary, they were joined by seven other couples doing the same thing and representing more than 400 years of marriage.
“These couples come before us not to begin a journey but to honor one well traveled. One marked by patience, devotion, forgiveness and deep friendship,” officiant Sue Skender said.
The vow renewal ceremony was held at Hearthwood Senior Living’s Sacred Heart Chapel in Bartlett, two days before Valentine’s Day.
“We gather to celebrate love that has stood the test of time,” Skender said. “Marriage is not made of one single moment but of thousands of ordinary days made meaningful by love. Today, we celebrate all of those days.”
The Fruehes grew up on the same block. They got engaged just before Chuck went into in the military.
When he came back, he found out he was getting married on Feb. 12. “She had arranged everything,” Chuck said.
Agnes chose the date because she liked Valentine’s Day.
The big question of the day for all of the couples Thursday was what’s the secret to a long marriage?
“You go into the marriage with the idea you are going to stay married. That’s 90% of it,” Chuck said. “You will have problems. Everyone has problems. But if you decide you are going to be married, then it works out.”
Agnes said, “Just don’t fuss over the small stuff.”
Sharon and Don Miller have been married for 57 years. Before moving to Hearthwood, they lived in St. Charles.
The two were born days apart in the same hospital. But while his family stayed in Chicago’s Austin neighborhood, where he grew up, Sharon’s moved to Oak Park. The wouldn’t meet until 23 years later — in a tavern down the street from the hospital.
Don proposed at Chicago’s Buckingham Fountain and they married on June 28, 1968. Their first child was born on Don’s birthday, in the same hospital as his father, a year later.
Don said the two decided to do the vow renewal as a “refresher.”
“Just wanted to lock her in,” he said, as Sharon laughed.
Hearthwood Senior Living hosted a reception for family and friends, complete with a wedding cake that read “We Still Do,” following the ceremony. A display of couples on their wedding days was among the decorations.
Joyce and Les Zemba’s photo was next to Joyce’s book, “A Life Like Nun Other.” She was a nun assigned to St. Philomena Catholic School in Chicago when she Les, also a teacher, in the early 1970s.
The first time he saw her, she was teaching at a podium. “I thought, ‘I’ve got to get to know that person,’” he said.
When Les asked her to marry him, she said, “I can’t get married. I’m a nun.”
But the two created a bond when they took homework to a sick child who was in the hospital, she said.
“I worked on it for two years, and she finally said yes,” Les said.
Joyce had already been thinking about leaving the convent because of changes the church was making. The two married in 1972, and have two children and five grandchildren.
Their secret to a long marriage is twofold, they said.
“We do everything for each other,” Les said. “I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for her. I’ve gone through operations. I’ve gone through cancer. She’s been there every step of the way.”
For Joyce, it’s teamwork.
“We don’t do female and male roles,” she said. “We work together as a team. Whatever needs to be done, it doesn’t matter who does it.”
Skender’s brief words to the couples were poignant.
“You have learned love is not about perfection but about showing up, again and again. About holding hands through change. Finding humor in the unexpected and choosing each other every single day,” she said. “Your love is an example to all of us.”
Gloria Casas is a freelance reporter for The Courier-News.
