What is unconditional love?
A bear hug from a grandchild after a long weekend of fun, mess and chaos.
We recently had back-to-back sleepovers with our grandchildren. We hosted the oldest two on one weekend and the youngest two the following weekend.
Though all four children are very different, we came away with some observations that are likely universal truths. I’m curious to know if you agree.
Grandchildren don’t care if your hair is graying. They don’t care if you have wrinkles. They don’t care if your clothes are dowdy. In fact, they’re fascinated to know the history behind that Mickey Mouse sweatshirt you bought at Disney World back in the ’90s. And they certainly don’t mind if your end tables are dusty — all the better for drawing smiley faces with their fingers.
They won’t notice the ’90s shade of golden oak in the kitchen but they may have questions about the hi-fi stereo and vinyl record collection in the living room. Old people often have old things and to a young person, that can be fascinating.
Depending on their age, grandchildren are often intrigued by their grandparents’ stuff — whether it’s old DVD boxes, elegant tea cups or artwork created by their parents when they were little.
So don’t worry that your grandchildren won’t appreciate that your home and lifestyle are of a different era. It’s the undivided attention they’re after most.
How to best enjoy an extended stay:
- Make sure you are able to wrestle 32 pounds of resistance into a high chair and that you can run with a 45-pound jousting knight on your back.
- Before they arrive, stretch and have BioFreeze at the ready. It’ll take the sting out of those leg-kicking, torso twisting, rage-screaming diaper-changes.
- Be sure to have access to a three-year supply of berries, Goldfish and bananas.
- Be cup savvy. Are they ready for a straw? Are you ready for the challenge of matching straws to cups? Also, older kids love tumblers. Be cool, get some.
- Have extra clothing, in case of spills or accidents. In a pinch, a Cinderella costume or a Doc McStuffins lab coat or that faded Grand Canyon T-shirt will suffice while you do laundry.
- Wow them by knowing the difference between an ankylosaurus and a spinosaurus. Can you readily name Sonic’s friends and Super Mario’s enemies? And are willing to commit to a Wicked favorite — “Elphaba or Glinda? You can only pick one.”
- They know you’re not young and hip. Still, they will expect you to be able to call up the soundtrack for “KPOP Demon Hunters” on your phone. If you really want to impress, learn the words to “Golden.”
- Have a decent supply of food coloring, glitter, baking soda, vinegar and old towels at the ready so they can explode colorful volcanoes.
- It takes decorum to maintain interest and express genuine concern for the “Frozen” sisters, even though you think they’re embroiled in the dumbest plot to hit the screen. You can do it.
- Have a stash of funny stories about their mom or dad to share. With photos, please.
- Be ready to be grilled about the details of the older children’s most recent birthday party. And make sure you have ideas for themes for their upcoming birthday party, even if it’s 10 months away.
- Reminder: Poop, farts, spit and phlegm are not just gross, they’re hilarious. So is slime. Steel yourself.
- One from the vault: Just like your kids when they were little, grandchildren prefer their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to be made with such engineering finesse that they don’t drip onto their shirts or cement their mouths shut. Practice, if necessary.
- Be willing to move furniture so they can realize their vision of your family room becoming a Harry Potter-ish “deep, dark forbidding forest” or a movie theater with ticket booth, concessions and all front-row seating.
Of course, you appreciate that they’re all different, with varied needs and interests. While one child enjoys gathering and arranging rocks, another will tell you they “need” to bake blueberry muffins “right now.”
They’re willing to do chores, especially if it means replicating the “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” broom scene or filling the sink with bubbles so they can wash the dishes, which includes inadvertently soaking the walls, floors, windows and you. Afterwards, of course, they’ll want to change clothes because they’re wet and cold.
Bedtime is a process that begins with you reading three or four books, followed by them reading three or four books, followed by a long discussion on what they were like as babies, followed by discussion on what their parents were like as babies, followed by a checklist of things all of you will do when they awake in the morning, followed by a sip of water, followed by a bunch of kisses and, at last, followed by a final, “sweet dreams,” as you close the door and exhale.
When it’s time for them to go home you’ll be exhausted, your house may be unrecognizable and your food supply will be depleted. Nevertheless, you will hug them dearly and say, “I can’t wait to do this again,” to which they’ll reply, “How about next weekend?”
Donna Vickroy is an award-winning reporter, editor and columnist who worked for the Daily Southtown for 38 years. She can be reached at donnavickroy4@gmail.com.
