A REAL GIVING KIND OF GUY
The other day my son and I were talking, and the subject of women came up, and I realized that it was time he and I had a Serious Talk....
All Stories
HAPPY AUDIT TRAILS
Every year at tax time, I write a lighthearted "fun" column about the Internal Revenue Service, in which I make a lot of jokes that are not serious, because I...
A RABID MUSIC FAN
It is a chilling question that we have all asked ourselves: What would we do if, God forbid, we had to get a squirrel out of a piano? This very...
CONGRESS: LEAVE THE SPENDING TO US
URGENT TAXPAYER BULLETIN: The Federal Budget Surplus Crisis has become so severe that there is now serious talk in Washington of LETTING YOU KEEP SLIGHTLY MORE OF YOUR OWN MONEY....
SOME MINOR VERBIAL INFARCTIONS
It is with great decrepitude that we present another episode of "Ask Mister Language Person," the column that was recently voted "Best American Grammar Column in America" by a panel...
IF IT SNIFFS LIKE A DAD . . .
Sometimes people ask me: "Dave, what is the essence of parenthood?" I always answer: "Lowering your standards." For example, recently I was in a restaurant, having a bite to eat...
THUMB AND DUMBER
Get out the cocktail wieners and settle back for a pleasant "read," because it's time for our fun feature, "Body Parts Making the News." Our first body part is featured...
MORE POWER TO ‘EM
When we consider the serious electricity shortage in California, our reaction, as concerned Americans, is: Ha ha! No, seriously, we are alarmed. Because history teaches us that whatever happens to...
You are here–wherever that isI’m a big…
You are here--wherever that is I'm a big fan of technology. Most guys are. This is why all important inventions were invented by guys. For example, millions of years ago,...
LET’S QUASH THESE FOWL RUMORS
In the newspaper business (motto: "Trust Us! We're English Majors!") we have high standards of accuracy. Before we print anything, we make sure that: - We personally believe it's true,...