Mark Bazer

Have we discussed yet how everything's a piece of crap nowadays? By everything, I'm talking about children's toys and the U.S. Senate. I don't think I'd have been so upset...

An Open Letter to the Gentleman Who Stole My Wife's iPhone out of Her Hands on the CTA: Congratulations on your new iPhone! I just know you're going to love...

On Tuesday against the Denver Nuggets, down by a point with less than a second remaining, the Bulls' Kirk Hinrich inbounded the ball to Brad Miller, who immediately hit a...

Both sides of the family are coming in for Thanksgiving this year. Someone suggested an outing to the circus at the United Center that weekend. Now, doesn't that sound like...

It has come to my attention that the world is now moving very fast, so fast that by the time whichever news story, celebrity misbehavior or cultural phenomenon I've written...

"I don't care." Those are three words you're best off avoiding as a columnist (other such words are "hopefully," "in my opinion" and "L. Ron Hubbard"). That's why the best...

If you haven't heard lately from that friend of yours who is a huge Beatles fan, he's likely squirreled himself away to listen over and over again to the brand-new,...

For those of you anxiously awaiting an update on the state of 4-year-olds in America, you've come to the right place. For those of you trying to figure a way...

Dear Chicagoans, Hi there. So, it's, um, me, Spring. I know I'm probably the last season you want to hear from now, and that you've all moved on to Summer,...

As the summer-concert season gets under way, and as this thirtysomething writer bangs his head against the outer wall of the United Center for missing Tuesday's Bruce Springsteen concert, here's...