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– What`s wrong with this picture? Hovering over the city skyline Thursday morning was a blimp . . . promoting Diet Pepsi.

– The cigarette machine at Springfield`s Ramada Rennaissance Hotel is in the hotel`s health club.

SMOKE SIGNALS . . .

Britain`s B.A.T Industries, the world`s largest tobacco company, is trying to take over Farmers Insurance, the company that pioneered insurance policies for nonsmokers. (The deal needs a nod in Illinois from state Insurance Director John Washburn, and hearings are now in progress.) B.A.T apparently doesn`t plan to meddle with the nonsmoking insurance policies, but it does take a strong stand on smoking with its own employes: It`s ordered them not to fly on Northwest, Air Canada or British Airways-all of which have banned smoking on all flights.

SWITCHING SIGNALS . . .

Democratic presidential candidate Jesse Jackson-the man of the people-is resting and meeting with advisers at the exclusive La Costa resort in Southern California. First stop upon his arrival Wednesday night: the massage room, and then off to dinner with ABC`s Ted Koppel. Jackson returned to the spa facilities Thursday morning for some more invigorating kinds of things and then took a few meetings with his staff to plot out his pre-convetion strategy. A presumably rested Jackson returns to Chicago Friday, and on Saturday will be back in the pulpit at Operation PUSH.

THAT`S ENTERTAINMENT . . .

Just when we were beginning to think all the glamor was going out of show business, in the mail came a report that the celebs participating in a London celebrity golf tournament included Foster Brooks and Meat Loaf. . . . A group of screenwriters, guests of the Chicago Film Office for a weekend visit to soak up some real Chicago atmosphere, got a detailed itinerary for their visit. On Saturday night, they`ll hit a number of bars and hangouts, and early Sunday morning, they`re scheduled for a visit to Maxwell Street ”to buy back that which was stolen last evening.” . . . P.S. When you Writers Guild folks get back to work, how about getting a little more imaginative with the Russian names? Rocky Balboa`s Commie opponent in ”Rocky 4” was Ivan Drago, and a key figure in ”Red Heat” is Ivan Danko.

STAR TRACKS . . .

George Bush says that if his life story were ever made into a movie, he thinks he`d like to be played by Charlton Heston. . . . Wonder if Ted Danson`s wife is arranging lots of visits to him on the Vancouver set of ”Cousins.”

His costars are Isabella Rossellini and Sean Young. . . . Typecasting tidbits: Vanna White`s costar in the NBC-TV movie ”The Goddess of Love” will be Little Richard, portraying a hairdresser. . . . Anthony Perkins, whose choice of movie roles is beginning to make Vincent Price look like one of the Three Stooges, is currently filming his starring role in ”Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: A Journey Into Fear.”

SCHOOL DAZE . . .

Reading, writing and arithmetic: State Sen. Art Berman (D., Chicago)

claims his years as a hired gun for the Chicago Board of Education (while chairman of a Senate school committee) haven`t influenced his bill to

”reform” the city`s public schools. But cynics wonder why Berman`s bill makes it virtually impossible to remove the Chicago school superintendent for nonperformance. Berman`s bill would extend the school chief`s term from four to five years and require a two-thirds vote-rather than a simple majority-to can him.

INC.LINGS . . .

An Emmy-winning kids` show called ”Nothing is Simple” aired in the middle of the night (to beat the eligibility deadline) on Channel 5, not on Channel 2, as INC. reported. Channel 2`s middle-of-the-night Emmy winner was

”Women of the War.” . . . Friday birthday: F. Lee Bailey, 55. . . . Saturday birthdays: Gary Fencik, 34; Gene Wilder, 53.

. . . ”Beetlejuice” could become a Saturday morning cartoon show. . . . It probably won`t rate the kind of three-page People magazine story his little sister Eleanor`s wedding got, but Theodore ”Teddy” Mondale is getting married Saturday in Minneapolis.