Dear Abby: My mother recently told me about a friend of hers with a serious respiratory problem who went to her doctor and was told: ”If you do not stop smoking, you can find yourself another doctor!”
I want to share this with you because I thought it was a brilliant way of telling a patient that if she is not willing to participate in maintaining her own health, the doctor is not going to spin his wheels doing it for her.
I`m wondering if you`ve ever heard of other doctors giving patients these kinds of ultimatums? And what do you think of such doctors?
Jim Kerr, Las Vegas
Dear Jim: I`ve never heard of doctors who have given such ultimatums to their patients, but I applaud their professional integrity and courage. No physician wants to ”lose” a patient-one way or the other.
Dear Abby: Hooray for the letter from ”Second Choice,” whose friend with ”call-waiting” on her phone put ”Choice” on ”hold” because the friend got a call from someone who was more important.
I had ”call waiting” on my phone for one month, then I had it disconnected. My friends ask me why I don`t have ”call waiting” anymore when they call me and my line is busy. I tell them that I can talk to only one person at a time anyway, so I don`t really need it.
I think phones were better when we used Dixie cups and a string when we were kids, rather than with all the electronic gadgets that are on phones these days. What do you think?
Clicked Off
Dear Clicked: I`m not prepared to go back to two Dixie cups and a string, but I agree that the ”call-waiting” signal is a rude intruder. I wonder how many people have canceled theirs?
Dear Abby: How do you measure success? Can you tell me in fewer than 100 words?
56 and Still Learning
Dear Still Learning: So am I. And I have yet to find a more apt description of success than this one:
”To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one`s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived-this is to have succeeded.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
Dear Abby: You told the office worker who was subjected daily to the boring details of a fellow employee`s personal life that coworkers are like
”family,” and it`s only natural to talk about their personal lives.
You missed an important point. In addition to being a selfish boor, the woman is also cheating her employer-twofold. When engaged in these lengthy
”conversations,” not only is she failing to do the work for which she is being paid, she is keeping her coworkers from doing their work as well. What`s wrong with simply saying, ”You`ll have to excuse me now so I can get to work and do what I am being paid to do?”
Shirley in Van Wert, Ohio
Dear Shirley: Nothing is wrong with your suggestion. It was better than my answer.
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