The circumstances surrounding the recent death of Dan Haycock will forever haunt his friends and family in this remote agricultural community in the foothills of the Shenandoah Valley.
Two weeks after he took his own life, they are struggling to understand why.
Haycock, who grew up in south suburban Homewood and was an outstanding pitcher at Homewood-Flossmoor High School, had, it appeared to all around him, everything to live for.
When his father, an executive for R.R. Donnelly and Sons Printing Co., was transferred to Harrisonburg, Haycock reluctantly said farewell to his friends and classmates at H-F. He completed his senior year at Harrisonburg High School before receiving a baseball scholarship to attend James Madison University in this working-class town of about 30,000. He had friends, family and a dream.
But in the end, on the baseball field he had come to know as his world and sanctuary, Dan Haycock died alone at the age of 19.
His body was discovered near home plate at James Madison`s Long Field at approximately 10 a.m. on Feb. 12. He apparently had shot himself in the head with his own 12-gauge shotgun in the early morning hours that Sunday.
Although local authorities are awaiting the complete report from the autopsy in Roanoke, Va., Harrisonburg police and campus security officials have ruled the death a suicide, according to Fred Hilton, James Madison`s sports information director.
A sophomore who was preoccupied with becoming a pro baseball player, Haycock was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol at about 2 a.m. that Sunday, and, according to Hilton, Harrisonburg police said that his blood-alcohol level was well above the legal limit of .10 percent.
A family friend, Bonnie Simmons, who vouched for Haycock to get him out of jail, was probably the last person to see him alive. At about 4 a.m., she dropped him off at his apartment. He left a note there addressed to his parents, Richard and Leslie, and then went to his parents` house to get his shotgun.
”That note said, in essence,” his father began relating before breaking down and sobbing, ”that baseball was the only thing he did well, and this offense probably meant he couldn`t do that anymore (because of a possible suspension). So there was no need for him to hang around anymore.
”He was on a roll,” his father added. ”Things were as good as they could possibly be. The signs (of suicide) weren`t there.”
”Dan was not an unhappy person,” said Steve Swartz, a roommate of Haycock`s and captain of the baseball team. ”He was happy, a nice guy, one of the boys, liked by everyone.
”I would see him day and night, practice with him. I had class with him. I couldn`t see something that would`ve brought this on, except for the fact that he got caught for a DUI, and that ruined all his hope.”
Swartz said Haycock attended the team`s annual coat-and-tie affair held Saturday night, Feb. 11, at the party room of the Madison Manor Apartments. Swartz said he did not notice when Haycock left the party and didn`t think anything was wrong until he awoke Sunday and found the note.
Team members spent a few days last week in group meetings after practices were called off, and the James Madison counseling center was made available for group or individual sessions.
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In December, 1987, Haycock and two other young men were arrested for stealing a road sign. Haycock did not tell his parents or his coach, Brad Babcock, about the arrest. He later failed to perform his prescribed number of hours of community service and had to pay a fine. When the incident came to the attention of Babcock, Haycock was suspended from the team for the fall season in 1988 and had to work out on his own. Still, Haycock was expected to battle for a spot on the Dukes` starting rotation this spring. Their regular season was scheduled to start this weekend.
A 6-foot-2-inch, 190-pound right-hander, Haycock was 2-2 as a freshman with an 8.17 earned-run average in 25 1/3 innings.
”The James Madison baseball team last year was a Top 20 program in the country,” said Richard Haycock. ”They had an at-large bid in the NCAA Tournament. Dan got to pitch against the University of Miami. They got beat in that game (18-8), but Miami went on to the College World Series.”
By the end of last week, Babcock had declined further comment on Haycock`s death and ordered his players to stop cooperating with the local media.
”We`re all as shocked as can be,” Babcock told the Harrisonburg Daily News Record before a memorial service was held for Haycock at the Lindsay Funeral Home last Tuesday. ”We`re not going to make it anything other than a member of our team is down, and that`s it.”
Haycock`s coaches at Homewood-Flossmoor registered feelings of helplessness and frustration when they heard of his death.
”The thought I had was that I wish I had been there before it happened,” said Steve Ehren, who coached Haycock for three years at H-F.
”Maybe just to talk to him. Maybe there would have been something I could have said.
”He was well-accepted on the team and got along fine. He was throwing a fastball right around 80 miles an hour when he was a junior. He also had a good curveball, good control. I really felt that, after the way he pitched as a junior, that if he had stayed around here, he could have probably got some sort of scholarship.”
Dan also played for H-F sophomore coach Don Bridgeman and dated his daughter, Koreen.
”I would have bet a million bucks that Danny wouldn`t have killed himself just because he couldn`t play baseball,” said Bridgeman. ”But I guess we`ll never know why he did it. He was a tall, blond kid, almost like
`The Natural.` Everyone is looking for an explanation, but sometimes in life there is no explanation.
”He took my daughter to the prom, and they remained friends after he moved to Virginia. He would call every couple of weeks or so.
”Some of these kids who commit suicide are just thinking of themselves. They don`t think about all the other people they hurt. But I didn`t think of Danny as being a `me` person.”
”Dan`s junior year at H-F, the spring of `86, he was my No. 3 pitcher,” said Ehren. ”He was 6-2, did an outstanding job and threw a no-hitter against Crete-Monee. I really liked the kid; I never had any problems with him that spring.
”Then, in the summer baseball program, he stayed with us. But he started having problems with his pitching. I tried to talk to him, but he was keeping a lot of things inside of him. Eventually, I found out that the problem was that he and his parents were moving out of the area to go to Virginia. That was bothering him the whole summer. He did tend to keep things bottled up inside of him.
”I really liked him, more than most. I felt bad for him, all the stuff he went through that summer when he knew he was moving. I could tell that something was bothering him, and finally, after the season was over, then he came and talked to me about it.”
Richard Haycock agreed that his son tended to keep his problems bottled up: ”His standard response (to a problem) was, `I`ll handle it.` ”
He said his son`s depression over moving to Virginia disappeared quickly. At Christmas of 1987, he bought his son a shotgun, the same one found next to his body, and said Dan would go dove hunting and deer hunting with his friends.
”Dan was initially against the move. But I think it would be fair to say that we were in the (Shenandoah) (V)alley no more than two weeks before he wouldn`t want to move back for anything. He enjoyed the outdoors, and he immediately fit in. The timing was good.”
At Harrisonburg High, Dan was an All-Valley District choice as a senior after going 5-4 with a 2.42 ERA and 103 strikeouts in 70 innings.
”Dan worked extra hard on the field, and he was real competitive,” said Harrisonburg coach Jack Hale. ”To all of our coaches and everyone at the high school, it was all a positive thing, what Dan meant to us.”
According to his father, Haycock`s one year at Harrisonburg High also had a positive effect on his son.
”As a junior, Dan didn`t display, at least outwardly, a desire to continue his education beyond high school,” said Richard Haycock. ”Once we got here, something changed. By the fall and winter, he became quite interested in school.”
Despite his apparent improving academic standing, Haycock`s focus was still clearly on baseball.
”The proudest day of his life,” said his father, his face trembling and his voice again cracking with emotion, ”was when he was offered a scholarship to James Madison University. The last two years, almost, were the happiest of his life. Baseball was his thing.”
And when that dream appeared detoured, it should have been time for Haycock to pursue a Plan B.
”But I don`t know that he had a Plan B,” said his father. ”The irony is that there were many colleges in the state or in the country where he could have transferred. He could have continued his (baseball) program without a lot of problems.”
Then, Richard Haycock offered a heartfelt message to other teenagers who have contemplated suicide:
”Any setback, major or minor, any goal unachieved or any dream unfulfilled, pales in comparison to life itself. There always is a way.”
