Saying ”I will” to a new roommate isn`t quite the same as ”I do” to a spouse, but it`s still an important commitment.
A roommate commitment might be intended for only the lifetime of a one-year lease, but who wants to be miserable for even a year?
One young man who bought a house in the western suburbs and took in two roommates to make the mortgage payments a little easier found that he got more than he bargained for: The entertaining habits of the new roomies gradually took over the house; one day he woke up to the fact that he felt virtually relegated to his bedroom.
Ground rules hadn`t been laid in advance. Because it was his house, he eventually was able to exert authority, but the situation isn`t so
straightforward when roommates are splitting the rent.
Setting ground rules and getting along well with a roommate often are easier when the roommate isn`t a good friend, roommate counselors say.
”The ratio of success (in roommating) is much higher between people who don`t know each other (socially) before moving in together,” said Lois A. Ciba, director of corporate sales for the Twelve Oaks apartment complex in Arlington Heights.
”Many times we see people enter as friends and leave as enemies. I`d say the chance for success is about 50 percent with friends and about 80 percent between people who didn`t know each other before. Friends . . . too often feel the pressure of involving the other person in all their social activities.”
Nancy Mendrick, director of the Roommate Service in Schaumburg, gives her clients a list of tips, subjects that should be talked about before the decision to live together is made.
”And then I mediate,” she said. ”A lot of times, there will be an argument and they`ll come to me and I`ll try to mediate.”
Some of the items on her tip sheet:
– Discuss potential overnight girlfriends or boyfriends and who is to have the key to the apartment and who should not.
– Talk openly about alcohol and drugs, as well as friends who frequently visit and may have habits not to your liking.
– Discuss the use of common appliances, such as VCRs, the TVs, microwaves, stereos, etc. In addition, discuss all cleaning aspects.
– Discuss use of the telephone. Mendrick recommends that each roommate have a separate phone line, ensuring proper receipt of messages and relieving the burden of dividing phone expenses.
– Discuss how food is to be bought and divided.
– Make sure work schedules and preparation times are compatible, especially if there is one bathroom.
– Discuss how and when the rent and utility bills will be paid.
– Discuss what will occur if one roommate moves out and who is responsible for what in that situation. Mendrick suggests that a 60-day notice in writing be given to the remaining roommate. –
