Dear Abby: I`ve been writing this letter off and on for two years-and I`m finally sending it. Many times I`ve read about women who have been left to raise their children alone. What about men whose wives have deserted them? I`m the third one I know of in my town. Is this a new trend?
My wife left me with four children to raise. I would like to have companionship, but when a woman hears that I have four children, she says,
”four children-you must pay a lot of child support!”
I say, ”No, I have custody.” Then she says, ”That`s too much for me to handle. Goodbye.”
Abby, I love my children, and if it means giving them up in order to date, I`ll stay single. I wonder how many other men out there are in the same boat?
Full-Time Father in Columbus, Ohio
Dear Father: Have you never heard of Parents Without Partners? There must be some single mothers in your area who wouldn`t mind joining forces with you. To locate the PWP group nearest you, send a long, stamped, self-addressed envelope to: Parents Without Partners, 8807 Colesville Rd., Silver Spring, Md. 20910.
Then get a sitter and go to those PWP meetings. You sound like a high-quality man. Don`t be discouraged. A woman who would count you out because you have children probably would have been a poor mother for your motherless quartet. Keep looking.
Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married and on our own for seven years. We have two children. My husband has a large family-lots of aunts, uncles and cousins.
We were just invited to the wedding of one of his cousins. We didn`t actually receive an invitation-on the invitation his parents received was a handwritten message: ”Please ask Gary and his wife to come along, too.”
I think it`s a tacky way to invite people to a wedding. If they can`t take the time and effort to find out what our address is (all they would have to do is ask Gary`s mother), I really don`t feel like going. My husband wants to go.
Maybe if you print this, they`ll see it and realize how out of line they are. And just in case they don`t see it, please tell me how to handle such invitations.
Secondhand Invitation
Dear Secondhand: This is indeed a tacky invitation. Either these people are trying to save the price of an invitation and/or the postage, or they just don`t know better. Write them a note of thanks for the invitation, and add,
”By the way, we have a home of our own now” and include your address and both your names.
Dear Abby: There is a fire hazard your readers should be aware of. If you have a paperweight or figurine positioned where direct sunlight can strike it, move it.
The glass paperweight on my desk was blistering the wooden finish in three spots when I noticed the streaks of smoke a foot high! I am just thankful that I was home and saw it before more damage was done.
Wanda in Rock Stream, N.Y.
Dear Wanda: Thanks for an important item. I called this seemingly improbable fire hazard to the attention of my readers several years ago, but it`s worth mentioning again.
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To get Abby`s booklet, ”How to Be Popular: You`re Never Too Young or Too Old,” send a check or money order for $2.50 and a long, stamped (39 cents), self-addressed envelope to: Dear Abby, Popularity, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054.
