You`ve come a long way, baby.”
But not when it comes to money. It seems that no matter how liberated men and women might think they are, when it comes to the paycheck, they`re very traditional.
We asked you how you felt when the woman makes more money than the man and here`s what you told us:
– Doug: ”I was a parochial school teacher with a master`s degree. She was a vice president in a large bank. When I began talking about marriage, she ended the conversation noting, `My secretary makes more money than you! And she only has a high school diploma.` If our salaries (or jobs) had been reversed, I wonder if she would have thought the marriage was as foolish then.”
– Maggie: ”I was in a relationship with a Ph.D. student who lived off loans and had no job. At first I didn`t care about his lack of funds. Staying in evenings and cooking or just renting videos and reading was fun and relaxing. But reality set in when I found my lifestyle being changed to that of a poor student. I earn an average salary and enjoy spending the money I work hard to make. I found myself losing respect for him because he didn`t earn a living at age 30 and his student status seemed to show no sign of ending. I know now that I can`t be involved with someone who is not career-oriented and who has no practical concern for money.”
– Tamar: ”We shared an apartment and he ended up owing me $1,500. When he lost his job, I thought another one would soon follow, so I was willing to support him for a while. Well, the new job never came and three months later, with bills piling up and my savings account a thing of the past, I ended up moving back home to mom and dad. I might have put up with it a little longer if he had been cleaning house instead of watching TV while I worked.
”It`s almost two years later and he still owes me that money. It`s physically a lot easier for a man to throw out a mooching woman than vice versa.”
– Dick: ”I wish that money didn`t really matter but no one can tell me that. I make less than my wife by about $8,000 a year and I never really forget it. My wife doesn`t bring it up, but if we are talking about a big purchase I find myself saying to her, `Can we afford it?` meaning `Can you afford it?` I defer to her, and feel stripped of some feelings of power as a result.
”I hope that the situation changes some day, but in the meantime we need both incomes so I am not wishing that hers was lower. Only that mine was higher.”
– Marjorie: ”I have a high-paying job at a large corporation and believe me, my income has canceled out many potential relationships for me. People have an idea how much I make and no man with an income less than this has ever asked me out. And that means about 96 percent of the men.”
Not every couple has trouble when the women earns more than the man.
– Joyce: ”I have a Ph.D. in biochemistry and work in a major pharmaceutical company. My husband has a master`s in theology and works as a pastor in a small church. My income is about double his, however, we have been happily married for about eight years and I believe we will stay that way for the rest of our lives.
”Personally, I do not think that how much a person makes has anything to do with how successful that person is as a human being. To me, a successful person is one who knows what he wants from life. He has a concern for people around him and for the society he is living in. My husband is one of the few who possess this precious characteristic.”
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”You say to-MAY-to; I say to-MAH-to.” What are the little things about your partner that make you crazy? Please send your response, along with your name, address and day and evening telephone numbers to Kavesh & Lavin, Tales from the Front, Chicago Tribune, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.
Read Tales from the Front every Wednesday and Sunday in Tempo.
