The story of teen pregnancy is not new. It has been studied, documented and reported on over the years. There are important differences now, however. Today`s teens are sexually active at younger ages in a milieu that includes AIDs, alcohol and drug abuse, increased economic pressures and often an absence of family support.
The following interviews offer a different perspective on the problem of teen pregnancy. Speaking from the heart, single parent Mikeil Shaw talked frankly about peer pressures, the choices she faced, her loss and pain as well as the new life her baby inspired. She and her mother, Wanda Brock, shared their stories in separate interviews with a Seattle journalist to provide some insight into the issue of teen pregnancy in 1990. Brock`s interview follows inside.
Q-Why did you become sexually active so early?
A-I was a freshman in high school and on the drill team. In the 9th grade I became popular and got more attention from the boys. I would say I became sexual because of peer pressure-to satisfy the guy and because so many girls were talking about it. I felt they would call me a nerd if they knew I hadn`t done it. Every time I turned around, that was all they were talking about. At first I was really strong, then I gave in to the pressure. I was really scared, but then I did it anyway.
Q-What about the threat of AIDS? Aren`t teenagers fearful of getting AIDS?
A-They feel they can`t get it. Teenagers don`t think about it much anymore. When we first heard about AIDS, it was the big talk. But now, it`s like we know about it, but we don`t care. We only think about the pleasure of it (sex). The attitude of my generation-all they care and talk about is
”Who`s gettin` who?”
Q-What do you think will make them care and change their attitude about AIDS?
A-If someone that we know personally got AIDS, someone young, in our generation, then, maybe. . . .
Q-Did your sexual partners use contraceptives or was that your responsibility?
A-I guess they felt it was mine. The only thing I basically knew how to use was the condom. I knew that other contraceptives existed, but I didn`t know how to use them.
Q-What were your feelings when you found out you were pregnant?
A-I found out I was pregnant in October, 1988. I conceived in August. I went that long before I even knew I was pregnant.
I thought about myself a lot. I was on the drill team, danced and went to parties. I thought I didn`t want to have a baby, that I was too young to have a baby. I was depressed and confused.
Q-Did you consider having an abortion?
A-Yeah. I had basically made up my mind to have an abortion, but I was scared.
Q-What did the baby`s father think of the pregnancy?
A-He wanted me to have the baby. I remember calling him and telling him I wanted to have an abortion. I can still hear him crying on the phone. He had gotten a girl pregnant before and she had an abortion. He wanted me to have his baby and wanted us to be together forever.
He went out and got himself two jobs and was going to school to get his GED (General Equivalency Degree). We were going to be married. His birthday was May 14 and mine was June 11. We wanted to wait until we were 18 so no one would have any say over us.
Q-Why didn`t that happen?
A-LeRoy, my baby`s father, passed away on New Year`s Eve, before the baby was born. He committed suicide. He was a depressed person. He was a confused person in a lot of ways and he kept it all inside.
One time when I was with him, he tried to take some pills. I thought it was minor. We went to the hospital and they pumped his stomach and he was fine.
But this time, on New Year`s Eve, he got a gun and shot himself in the head.
Q-If he wanted you to have the baby and had so much to live for, why do you think he killed himself?
A-That`s the question I ask myself every single day. Why did he do it when he knew the baby was on the way? Nobody knows. He was depressed a couple of days before he did it. I could tell that something was not right. The day he did it, I talked to him. He sounded so much better. He sounded the opposite of what he felt, I guess. He was so cute that day. He told me to put the phone to my stomach so he could talk to the baby. I still don`t know why he did it. That`s the question that`s always in his mother`s and my head.
Q-What was your mother`s reaction to your pregnancy?
A-When I conceived, my mom was in a drug rehabilitation center for cocaine addiction. I called her. She guessed right off and asked, ”What are you going to do?” She didn`t scold me. But she told me she didn`t believe in abortions. She said that she got pregnant three times and had all three of her kids.
My mom got out of the rehab center in November and told the people there that she had to be home for her pregnant daughter. So I felt the baby was helping my mom . . . that my mom was going to do better. She was home and going to church for about a month up until December. When LeRoy died, she was there for me for about two days and then she left. . . . She`s here now. She still has problems. But I think my son helps her an awful lot.
She keeps LeRoy for me when I`m in school or want to go out. I don`t even have to ask her. I know that taking care of him is helping my mom with stuff. Q-Being a parent is a tremendous responsibility. How has parenthood affected your life?
A-It`s not just Mikeil anymore. I can`t go anywhere. We go somewhere. It`s like that now. It`s harder because sometimes I forget. I`m still young and haven`t gotten my kickin`s out. I still have a lot of fun I haven`t finished. But then I have to think of LeRoy. I have to turn down a lot of things in order to be there for my son. I have to be there for him. It`s Mikeil and LeRoy now. I have to finish school for LeRoy, so I don`t have to tell him we have to wait `til the first of the month for the welfare check. I have to finish so my son can have things.
Welfare and me are not friends. I just got it this month. I struggled with that, but I had to get on it. But it won`t be for long. I`ll get a job and there`s a day care at school. I`ll work half the day and go to school the other half.
Q-What are your future education plans?
A-My plans are to get my high school diploma and then go to a community college and study child psychology.
Q-If you could have anything for your son, what would that be?
A-Just his dad right now . . . for him to have a father figure.
Q-What about in the future? What would you want for him?
A-A lot that I didn`t have . . . a Bill Cosby Show-like thing. I know it`s a fantasy world. But I want LeRoy to have everything he wants and needs. Not in a spoiled way. But so he won`t have to wait `til the first of the month. I want to show him that he`ll have to work for things just like I have to work for things for him.
Q-What advice would you give other teenage girls?
A-Wait to have kids. It`s no fun. And, if you do, take it a day at a time with pregnancy and raising your child. You`ll have a better attitude toward your baby and yourself.
Q-What advice would you give to boys? What would you tell your son, for example?
A-That sex is a part of life. But if you`re going to have sex, care about the person and use protection, even if the girl says she`s on birth control pills. These young guys don`t know how to be a father. They don`t know what they`re doing.
Q-What are the benefits in having LeRoy?
A-He`s benefiting me a lot, because I have to think about him. I braid hair and get $20. I can take the money and go to the movies or I can take the $20, give it to my grandmother to keep so I can buy diapers for LeRoy. Those are the kinds of decision I have to make. I always have to go with the decision for LeRoy. Having him is making me more independent and helping me to save money.
I love my son very much. Without him, I don`t know where I`d be. He`s just an infant, but he helps his mother. He helps me day by day every day he`s in this world with me.
When his dad died, my first response was that I`d have to kill myself, too, to be with him. And then I didn`t want to, because I could feel my son move inside me. Then I realized, ”Oh, I have something to live for.”
My baby makes me want to go to school. I could have dropped out and gotten my GED, but I don`t want that. I want to show my son my high school diploma so he can see that I finished. He`s my motivation and inspiration each day he`s here.
