When most young women come of age, they mark the day by finally being able to wear lipstick and blusher, by staying out past midnight or by convincing their mothers that wearing a strapless dress is-at last-morally acceptable. But when New York`s Cornelia Guest came of age, she celebrated by hanging out with Sly Stallone, wearing hot little dresses that bared more than her shoulders and having her face plastered over the pages of New York newspapers and People magazine.
Was turning 18 as exciting for you? Or perhaps the question should be phrased differently: Are you a deb?
Cornelia`s 15 minutes of fame came as a debutante, or a young woman making her formal entrance into society. It`s a venerable tradition that a young woman, upon reaching 18, should be introduced to the world by her parents. At one time, it marked a woman`s availability to the opposite sex. Then it became a barometer for the social status of the rich and famous. Now, for several dozen Chicago area mademoiselles each year, being a deb is a way to party hearty, become closer to their friends, dress like a princess . . . and maybe even get to know their folks better.
”The most difficult part of being a debutante is picking out the dress and going through all the fittings,” says Hindsdale native Jennie Derrington, 18. Most debs scour bridal shops in search of the perfect white wedding gown
(the gown`s train is immediately ditched), accompanying gloves and accessories.
”It was fun when I first tried it on, looking like a bride,” says Jennie, a freshman at Arizona State University. ”But without the train it looks like a fairy-tale princess dress.”
Jennie and 29 other young women will be princesses-for-a-day on Dec. 23 when they return home from their first semester at college to debut at the 28th annual ball of the Hinsdale Assembly, a philanthropic women`s
organization that raises money for Hinsdale Hospital. Many debutantes are the daughters of Assembly women; others are the friends or sisters of former debs. If it sounds cliquish, don`t get squirmy; organizers insist that ”outsiders” are welcome. But it`s often a girl`s familiarity with the organization that inspires her interest.
”When I talked to some of my friends about being a deb, they said it`s a bourgeois thing and they didn`t want to do it,” says Kourtney Smith, 17, of Chicago. ”I used to think that until I saw the deeper meaning-what the Links do for other people,” she says of the organization of professional African-American women. Links contributes money to an array of organizations, including youth projects, Du Sable Museum and the United Negro College Fund.
Kourtney, a senior at Lutheran South High School, hopes to be named this month to the 1991 Cotillion Court of the Chicago Illinois Chapter of Links Inc., which celebrated its 30th cotillion anniversary in June.
Kourtney says she ”grew up” watching her mom, a Links member since 1973, attending Links meetings, doing volunteer work and developing debutantes.
”I think it`ll be a good experience . . . this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Some people don`t get it,” Kourtney adds.
The nuts and bolts
The deb selection process is pretty patterned. About a year before the ball or cotillion is held, members of the sponsoring organization begin taking recommendations for young women who would be good deb candidates. Each deb must have a sponsor, or someone who can speak on behalf of her good character. If not, she may be asked to submit letters of recommendation from former debs or current organization members.
After potential debs respond to the letter of interest from the organization, it`s application time. (Yes, another form to worry about during your senior year). The application can range from the very basic ”name, address and who are your parents?” questions to essay questions asking why you want to be a deb and the types of community service you`ve done.
The applications are studied by the organization, after which a pool of 18 to 24 young women are selected to become debs. Once you commit to give up endless hours to practice dance steps, attend teas, do volunteer work and perform other deb-ly duties, you are a debutante.
An awesome schedule
”My sister was a (Hinsdale) deb,” says Ami Satkamp, who`s following in her sister`s footsteps. ”She had a party at our house a few years ago and it was a lot of fun. Then when we were asked this year, all my friends decided to do it and so did I.
”Being a debutante has been fun,” says Ami. ”We`ve had a black-tie bowling party and a fashion show.” She and Kelly Dee, her best friend, co-deb and now roommate at Indiana University at Bloomington, contributed to the fray of parties by hosting a Mexican fiesta during the summer.
The months leading up to the debutante ball can be frenzied and hectic-a full schedule of parties hosted by other debs, dress fittings, mother-daughter teas, etiquette classes, figures (dance) rehearsals and cultural outings await the debs-to-be. Her family and friends aren`t exactly left out, either. Parents and escorts also have to learn dance steps and friends are expected to support the deb by attending her parties and her ball.
”The image has grown up now,” says Ellen Haugh, another Hinsdale deb studying at the University of Kansas. ”It`s not like, `Ooh, there goes a deb!` A long time ago it was a lot bigger deal . . . soooo Southerny. Girls have come a long way since my mom was a girl.”
Unselfish attitudes
But there is another commitment high on the debutante`s calendar-only this one is not social. It`s civic. Most debutantes are required to donate between 30 to 50 hours of volunteer time to local non-profit organizations prior to her ball.
”I really like the fact that we have to do community work,” says Iyana Fisher, 18, presented this past June by the Links. ”I worked at Jackson Park Hospital bringing breakfast and lunch to patients and taking them to get X-rays.”
And if the emphasis way back when was on preparing young women to leave their family, the focus now is on the family itself. The Links, for example, bring debs and their parents together nearly every Sunday from February through June for dance rehearsals, cultural outings and other activities. Iyana, a former Links deb, says she spent more time with her father, dancing in his arms and talking, than she had in a long time.
”I liked being with my parents while we practiced for the cotillion. It gave me a good opportunity to get to know my dad all over again, and spend more time with my mom,” said the freshman at Lewis University in Romeoville, Ill.
Not for everyone
However, hypocrisy does exist among debutantes. There are those who have a difficult time justifying their involvement in an ”overblown social clique,” according to one girl. Yet, they go along with the parties and the dresses, feeling guilty because some friends are unable to break into the
”closed social network” to become a deb, too. Says the deb: ”It`s a lot of `Who do you know?` ”
”I`m really against the whole thing,” says another. ”I just think it`s really snobby and that it`s all old money.”
Old money, new money and-you guessed it-mo` money are important factors in cotillion balls. For many organizations, the ball is the major fundraiser of the year and adult members are not shy about giving credit where credit is due. They say debutantes are a major catalyst for generating thousands of dollars that go to help their local communities.
”The reason I really want to be a debutante is to help raise the money because the Links support worthwhile organizations,” says Kourtney. The Links raise about $35,000 annually through profits from the cotillion dinner and dance, debutante fees ($300 per girl) and advertisements in the souvenir booklet.
Counting pennies
Even if there isn`t a ”closed social network,” the cost of being a socialite can serve as a barrier to some girls. Though the dress is the biggest expense for most, there are other costs: Flowers, special jewelry, white shoes, dad`s tuxedo, mom`s new hairdo, tickets to your ball and maybe advertisement in the souvenir program.
It didn`t come cheap for Cornelia Guest to get a date with Sly. And it doesn`t come cheap for debs who want to really look the part.
”My dress is off-the-shoulders, beaded and lacy in front with a big bow in the back,” says Ami. It was originally $1,000 but it was on sale. Even so, with alterations, the total price tag was $700, according to Ami.
Gladys Smith, Kourtney`s mother, says that recently some girls have begun renting their dresses. ”Cotillions sometimes get an unfair image of being expensive,” Smith says. ”It doesn`t have to be. It`s really up to the families.”
Hinsdale deb Kelly Dee says she spent $600 on her dress, but may get more value from it than just one wearing. ”It took me forever to find a dress that I liked that no one else had. But I liked it and my mom and I talk about using it as my wedding dress.”
Because Kelly`s sister was also a deb, Kelly says she could have worn her dress but didn`t like it. So, Kelly loaned it to a friend to wear this year.
With so many girls and so few white dresses in Illinois, there is a lingering feeling that two debs may end up in the same dress. (Precautions are taken; girls are instructed to phone in their dress style number before buying to be sure no one else is planning to buy it.) But even if no one else is wearing the exact same dress, wouldn`t you worry that all that white would look a bit redundant?
”I saw the videotape of last year`s cotillion and the dresses really do look a lot different,” says Jennie Derrington.
Even if you`re a deb who looks like all rest, being hailed as one of 20 or so young women as belles of the ball is still pretty wonderful.
”I think the night of your cotillion is one you`ll never forget,” says Jennie.
