Marlene Brown grew up in a time when, as she puts it, ”if you didn`t have money to go to college, you married your high school sweetheart.” Brown did just that.
By 1967, she was 31, the mother of five children, divorced and on welfare. Brown says she pulled herself out of a bad situation only after hitting rock bottom: She took an overdose of tranquilizers and was
hospitalized.
”I was so glad I was still alive,” Brown says, adding that the experience taught her ”it was just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other even on days when all I did was cry.”
Relying on help from her parents and a neighbor, Brown became a part-time college student and went on to earn bachelor`s and master`s degrees in education at Utica College of Syracuse University, where she is working on a doctorate.
”I`m a firm believer that you can begin again,” says Brown, who started her new career as an undergraduate after convincing educators at Utica College that she was the ideal candidate to teach a course aimed at helping displaced homemakers. ”Too many women wait too late in life to realize their potential.”
Brown taught a variety of education and management courses at Utica for 11 years and in 1985 founded her own business, Marmel Consulting Firm, Clark Mills, N.Y.
Brown spends much of her time giving speeches and conducting workshops on a variety of topics, including self-esteem, assertiveness and communication. Among her clients are the Federal Credit Union, the U.S. Department of Social Services, the American Management Association and the Central Intelligence Agency.
Brown advises women to take time to write a mission statement. ”Your mission statement should list all of the things you do well,” Brown says.
”It should also list the things in life you value, and it should give you a clear-cut idea of what you want to become.”
A day after you have put together your mission statement is the time to ask yourself if you are willing to spend the time required to make your dreams become reality, Brown says.
”Whatever it is we choose to do, we need to learn there are no short cuts (to getting ahead),” Brown says. ”It`s not who you know or being in the right place at the right time.”
A job should bring appropriate monetary rewards as well as a sense of mission, she says. Asking for a raise can be a dreaded experience, Brown says, so preparation is vital to negotiating a pay increase.
Brown recommends making a comprehensive list of your contributions, itemizing such details as how many dollars in sales you have made or which clients you`ve brought to the company.
She advises employees to present the list in person, explain the purpose of the visit, then wait.
”Don`t keep explaining yourself,” Brown says. ”If you sit there calmly and quietly you send a non-verbal message that you are sure of yourself.
If the boss is unwilling to commit to giving you a raise during the first meeting, Brown says you should ask for a follow-up meeting.
”Give (the boss) a chance to breathe; don`t demand an answer that minute.”
Brown says it can be beneficial to accept less money to get necessary experience.
”However, if you find out you have the same background and you`re making 12 percent less than a man in the same job, it may be a discrimination issue,” she says.
Brown says men should be aware that a more equitable pay structure benefits all employees.
”A two-tier work force has been created by paying women two-thirds of what men get,” she says. If management decides to hire more women instead of men to save money, it will harm men in the long run, she says.
”We need to make men more aware of this so they will support us,” she says.
LIFELINES
To join
The Society of Human Resources Professionals holds monthly luncheon meetings and programs. Annual membership is $95. Call Kim Miggenburg at 312-368-0188 for more information.
Referral help
Tele-Help, a non-profit referral network serving the north and northwest suburbs, offers free information on a variety of issues, from joining a support group to finding child care. 708-291-0085.
For working mothers
A working mothers` support group is offered at the Virginia Frank Child Development Center of the Jewish Family and Community Services, 3033 W. Touhy Ave. Call Lorraine Perman, 312-761-4550.
Networking lead
LEADS is a for-profit referral network for women. Each chapter is made up of a variety of businesses. Membership is by invitation only. Meetings are held weekly. For chapter information: 815-436-5495.
Related reading
”The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey (Simon & Schuster, $9.95); ”Self-Assertion for Women” by Pamela Butler
(HarperCollins, $10.95); ”Beyond Power” by Marilyn French (Ballantine, $11.95).
