If you`ve ever had a roommate, chances are you also have a roommate horror story.
A lot of the stories take place in college. Perhaps there was a ”Mr. Clean” who washed dishes only when fungus appeared. Or a roomie who idolized Barry Manilow, playing ”Copacabana” non-stop on the stereo.
Or, maybe you had a roommate who was a bit too outgoing. He had a steady stream of overnight guests who made your dormitory room seem more like a hotel.
The standard college experience of living at least once with a total stranger is enough to make some people swear off roommates forever. But for others, the steep cost of renting has made finding a roommate a necessity.
In fact, Charles Drum, president of Executive Profiles, a roommate matching service based in Chicago, said his business is booming. Drum specializes in matching professionals, many of whom are relocating to Chicago from out of town.
”The recession is playing havoc with the economy,” he says. ”A lot of people with houses and apartments want to share them to reduce their expenses.”
Drum`s computer-based service charges clients around $50 to find them a roommate.
Matching up roommates is far from an exact science, but experts in the field, like Drum, say there are many things people can do to improve their chances of finding someone compatible-or at least palatable.
”A lot of things that cause problems between roommates could be resolved before they ever move in together,” says Nancy Mendrick, who matches clients through her Roommate Service in Schaumburg. She charges from $59 to $95, depending on the type of service she provides.
Penny wise
The first concern for anyone should be finances. ”You have to be sure that you are both on the same wavelength financially. You both have to be stable,” Mendrick says.
Anyone seriously considering moving in with a roommate, be it a best friend or a stranger, is wise to dispense with decorum or sensitivity about such personal matters as finances or lifestyle.
”I don`t think there is anything wrong with saying to that other person, `Can I see your current paystub and I`ll show you mine?` ” says Sandra Moore, vice president of RELCON, an apartment-finding service.
Moore says that, as a good rule of thumb, renters should not pay more than 25 to 30 percent of their gross income for housing. If your prospective roommate makes a wage that is obviously less than what it will take to maintain an apartment, then it might be a good idea to look for someone else. If you are living in an apartment complex and want someone to move in with you, the management will likely insist on doing a credit check on the person you select. Some roommate matching services also will do a credit check on a prospective roommate for you for a fee; Mendrick charges $30.
Moore says that roommates, even those who are friends beforehand, need to look at living together as ”a financial partnership. When they sign a lease, each individual is supposed to be responsible financially. But, if your roommate moves out before the lease is up, the management will probably pursue the person who stays for the entire rent.”
Get it in writing
Mendrick suggests that roommates agree before they move in together to give each other 60 days` notice in writing if one plans to move out.
”People should discuss beforehand what they will do if they break the lease,” Mendrick says. ”In the age bracket that uses our service (generally, between 22 and 30), people sometimes break leases to get married, for example.”
And sometimes a roommate is left in the lurch for other reasons. Gina Gervase, 35, of Elmhurst, met her last roommate while she was apartment hunting; the woman who showed her the apartment was also looking for a roommate.
They moved in together, but not long after, Gervase`s roommate was fired from her job with the apartment management company.
”I didn`t check up on her at all. She seemed like a nice person,” says Gervase. ”But it turned out that she and I were very different.”
To come up with her portion of the rent, Gervase`s roommate suggested a solution that Mendrick says often causes tension between roommates. ”She asked to have her boyfriend move in and pay her part of the rent,” says Gervase, who declined the offer. Her roommate subsequently moved out.
”The overnight boyfriend scenario breaks up more female roommates than anything else,” says Mendrick. ”Suddenly, one roommate feels like a third wheel or an outsider in her own home.”
What`s your style?
Being honest and thoroughly discussing questions of lifestyle is crucial to finding the right roommate. Will your roommate have frequent overnight guests? Will he or she entertain a lot? Will apartment keys be given to friends you don`t know? How does he or she feel about the use of drugs or alcohol?
”If people are really honest and stipulate what they want in a roommate, then I feel they have a good chance of making a successful match,” says Mendrick.
In fact, she applauds the honesty of a former client who specified the stature and size of the roommate he wanted. ”This person was small, so it indicated to me that he didn`t want to feel overwhelmed by his roommate,” she says.
A face-to-face interview between two prospective roommates is an important part of the selection process.
Checking that list
Laura Walters, 24, who lives on the North Side, recently found a new roommate through RELCON`s Roommate Register, which, for a $30 fee, places clients` names for four months on a computer printout that they receive twice a month. Clients then choose which people on the list they wish to call.
The list includes pertinent information about clients, such as where they want to live, whether they want a male or female roommate, how much rent they can afford, their age group and occupation, whether they have pets and what social activities they enjoy.
”That`s pretty much the basic information you need. Then when you meet them you can talk about more personal things,” says Walters.
When she met the woman she now shares an apartment with, Walter says,
”we talked for three hours. We both discussed what we wanted and then we just started going together to look at places.”
Mendrick even suggests that prospective roommates get together in an informal setting before agreeing to live together. ”This way you can see what that roommate will be like in a more relaxed social setting,” she says.
Grill `em
Gervase, who is now looking for a new roommate, says her last experience has taught her to ask more questions and to be more selective about a prospective roommate.
”This time around I`ll ask what their social schedule is. Will they be home a lot? I don`t want a couch potato,” she says.
She also plans to ask a future roommate for a work reference and for a reference from a former roommate.
Another area not to be overlooked is the division of household chores and expenses. ”Roommates have to agree on a level of cleanliness. Maybe it`s just that the common areas will be kept clean,” says Moore.
She suggests that roommates contribute to a fund used to purchase household items such as paper towels and dishwasher detergent. Roommates should discuss how food will be purchased or divided, and whether such items as jewelry or clothing will be shared.
Mendrick recommends that each roommate have his or her own phone line:
”It just relieves people of the burden of dividing up phone expenses and of taking messages.”
Interestingly, if you are looking for a roommate, you have a better chance of finding one if you are not a smoker and if you do not own a pet.
”The hardest people to place are people who smoke, have pets and don`t live in areas with public transportation,” says Drum.
”The combination of a cat and a smoker. That`s deadly,” agrees Mendrick with a laugh.
But the experts says that finding a compatible roommate is not to be taken lightly.
”This isn`t a dating service. This is a serious business,” says Mendrick. ”Taking someone into your home is a scary thing.”
