Dear Ann Landers: This is in response to your answer to the 30-year-old professional woman who was fastidious, healthy, cheerful, well-informed, a knockout and an attorney no less. She hadn`t had a date in 10 years. You said she must have a very low opinion of men and give off negative vibes without realizing it. Obviously, Ann, you have been out of the swim too long to know what men are like today.
I am 35, intelligent, attractive and good-humored, and I haven`t had a date in two years. Today`s woman wants a man who is kind, considerate, stable and interested in a monogamous relationship. Good looks are a bonus, not a requirement.
Today`s man wants a woman who is considerate, stable and monogamous-packaged in an airbrushed, liposuctioned, fat-free, full-bosomed, slim-hipped, 23-year-old body. Men insist that they want a real companion, but they also want a trophy on their arm.
I find it fascinating that women are willing to overlook balding heads, beer bellies and plaid shirts with polka dot ties, but a man will take me aside and whisper, ”She`s OK but she has thighs in two different time zones.”
I know dozens of single women who are attractive, well-groomed and intelligent. Some may be a little overweight or have hair that frizzes in the rain, but are these valid reasons to dismiss them?
Recently I invited a single male friend, age 33, to my high school reunion because he said he was lonely and wanted to meet a woman he could build a life with. His response was, ”Forget it! They`re too old.”
I`ve concluded that a great many men need to outgrow their Playboy fantasies and appreciate what is right under their noses, but I`m afraid that`s asking too much.
Oakland, Calif
Dear Oak: I received a ton of responses from women eager to enlist in the battle of the sexes, but you said it best. Now, let`s hear from the other side of the aisle:
Dear Ann Landers: On behalf of decent men everywhere, I am compelled to respond to the tirade against men by the 30-year-old woman who insists that men are threatened by intelligent, articulate females.
I am a married Canadian male, age 43, and I adore intelligent women. My father, one of the brightest legal minds of his generation, was attracted to a very smart young woman and they enjoyed each other immensely until the day he died. My best friend is a 78-year-old female lawyer who is brilliant and beautiful. ”Mae” has no trouble finding dates. My sister has a political science degree and her husband has always encouraged her to keep growing-he finds her mind as compelling as her face.
Your correspondent says most men are satisfied with one-night stands. I must know the strangest males on Earth. These oddballs are proud of their wives and I seriously doubt that any of them has ever cheated.
When that woman insists that her datelessness is not due to any failing on her part, she loses her argument. She is, as you suggested, sending out strong signals that turn men off. It`s not what`s in her mind, but what`s on it.
A Calgary Man
Dear Cal: Although Oak`s letter made some excellent points, you have hit the bull`s eye. Thanks for your astute observations.
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