`I said something today I shouldn`t have said,” Guin confessed to me.
This is the way my best friend sidles up to making an apology.
I postponed hearing her confession by changing the subject, ”You know Pat?”
Guin nodded yes.
”Well, while her husband was serving in Desert Storm, she took belly-dancing lessons,” I said. ”She told me not to tell anybody, but Joe`s home now, so maybe she won`t mind your knowing.”
”I hear belly dancing is supposed to be pretty good exercise,” Guin said. ”Lots of women are doing it now instead of aerobics.”
”Pat showed me how to do it.” I stood up and shimmied a little.
”Have you ever seen a better figure on anyone?” Guin asked.
”I have not,” I responded truthfully. ”Pat has the best figure of any woman I have ever seen in real life. It`s why I never sit next to her in church.”
”I`m not surprised to hear that Pat took belly-dancing lessons. If I had her body, I`d walk around in a bikini in the dead of winter,” Guin said.
”I`d just live naked,” I said.
”Well, I don`t know about that. I`ve always believed that a few clothes can lend a certain mystery to a woman,” Guin said.
”That`s just what I mean. I`m the kind who would strip buck naked to show off my figure if it were better. I`m the kind who talks too much too,” I said.
”That`s true,” Guin said. ”You shouldn`t have told me about Pat since she asked you not to.”
”Pat knows I talk too much,” I said. ”I warned her right off when she said she was going to tell me a secret that I probably wouldn`t be able to keep from telling it.”
”That`s no excuse,” Guin said.
I decided to let Guin clear her conscience. ”OK, what was it you wanted to tell me?”
”The preacher came by to visit is all, and he had his hair puffed up that new way . . . .” she said.
”Moussed and combed high?” I said. ”Why in the world would a man who dresses like Ward Cleaver want to wear his hair like Wayne Newton? I can`t look at his hair and listen to his sermon at the same time.”
”I kind of told him you said that,” she said.
”Huh?” I said.
”Well, actually, what happened was he asked me if we liked his hair, and I said that you and I had two different opinions on the subject but I thought he looked good,” she said.
”Maybe he didn`t understand what you were implying,” I said. ”Well, do you think I need to apologize to him?
”Every time I apologize to a man, he never seems to know what I`m talking about,” Guin said.
”Same here. Besides, what could I say really? `I`m sorry your new hairstyle looks so peculiar?` ” I asked.
”His wife is the one who put him up to getting his hair styled. She thought he looked old-fashioned,” Guin said.
”People want their preachers to look out-of-date. It adds to their authority,” I said. ”Do you suppose I could tell him that his old hairdo had more authority?”
”That might work,” Guin said.
”Or, maybe I should just keep quiet and let him hate me?” I said.
”That,” she said, ”would probably work even better.”
