There’s good reason Oprah Winfrey decided to host ABC’s Afterschool Special, “I Hate the Way I Look” (3 p.m. Thursday, ABC-Ch. 7).
“I was a geek,” she says, opening the hourlong special, then telling about having to wear thick, black-framed glasses and thinking that “everyone was talking about me. . . . Teens give their looks far too much power over their lives. The most important thing is being happy with who you are.”
She says this to a studio filled with teenagers. Some are cute, some not. Some are fat, others skinny. Some have pimples, others are coated with makeup to cover pimples. Some are shy and some more than willing to talk to Oprah about the way they look and about how that affects their self-esteem.
Being attractive is a goal they’re all striving to attain. When asked if they had a choice to be really attractive or really intelligent, it’s no contest: Looks come first.
But one girl reached a higher plane, saying that while she would like to be attractive in high school, in the real world it’s more important to be intelligent.
“I’ve learned that if you shine from within, people will like you for who you are, not what you look like,” said another kid, who was loudly applauded.
Oprah-who reserves comment on most of the teenagers’ remarks, but for an occasional “Wow, really?”-is clearly upset at the large number of teenagers obsessed with the way they look.
“What is the most extreme thing you did to change your looks?” she asks.
One answer comes from a girl who had plastic surgery at 15. Another admits to dieting at 8 and another says she starved herself for three weeks. Yet another child cries as she tells of the painful struggle she has been having with bulimia since she was 5.
Teenagers talk about name-calling, skin problems, problems with parents, money, friends and eating disorders. Teenage celebrities share some of their awkward times and offer advice on how to cope.
Joyce Vedral, a former teacher and author of many teenager-related books, suggests fitness as a means to better themselves. “Teen fitness is a positive outlet that makes you feel good about yourself,” Vedral says.
Vedral also has a suggestion for parents who object to the way their teens dress. “It’s an area where they (teenagers) can express themselves. Parents should save their energy for more important things.”
Take the time to watch “I Hate the Way I Look” with your teenagers (or ask them to set the VCR). It may serve as a springboard for important, healthy conversations.
– Part of PBS’ pledge drive, which continues through Sunday on WTTW-Ch. 11, “Talking to Parents and Teens With John Alston” offers two one-hour specials designed to close the gap between parents and children.
Alston, a highly regarded inspirational speaker, teacher and author of “Story Power,” makes it his business to understand teenagers.
In fact, he has spoken to more than a million teenagers to encourage self-esteem and common sense. He speaks to parents as well on the topic of adult-child communication. In the first special, “Raising a Secure Child” (2 p.m. Wednesday), Alston takes a lecture-type approach and adds amusing stories and humor to try to keep viewers’ attention.
What Alston says makes a lot of sense. For example, he says that parents generally want three things for children: happiness, success and all the material comforts. Alston points out that Hitler had those things. How much better if we want our children to be good, decent human beings, to be polite and thoughtful of others?
“These things are what we, as parents, should be concerned about,” Alston says. “I submit it will improve the human condition.”
The second hour, “Understanding Teens in Turbulent Times” (3:08 p.m. Wednesday), gives parents an in-depth understanding of the changing world that teenagers are faced with, offering some sound advice on parenthood.
Unless your teenagers are considering psychology as a major, it will be difficult to keep them tuned in, because Alston’s two hours are very wordy. But there are some valuable lessons for them and for parents in these shows.
