When considering the Bulls’ chances for a three-peat, you are relieved to find there are exactly the same number of questions as answers.
Q-How does Scottie Pippen look?
A-Like a man hunting for a mattress.
Q-Are the Bulls still hungry?
A-The Bulls still have an appetite. The difference between hunger and appetite is sipping the soup instead of ordering seconds.
Q-What best describes the contribution of Stacey King?
A-The complaint from Alice in Wonderland: “Never jam today, but always jam tomorrow.”
Q-Aren’t the Bulls playing for history?
A-The only thing worse than playing for history is playing for Bob Knight.
Q-History is not good motivation?
A-The Bulls are talking about making history, and the Knicks are talking about making widows.
Q-How does Will Perdue fit into the playoffs?
A-Like a doorknob in a bottle of aspirin.
Q-Is fatigue a very big factor?
A-About 6-10 if Horace Grant doesn’t get some rest.
Q-Are the Bulls tired?
A-Fatigue of the body is not as bad as fatigue of the spirit. The Bulls spent the season wishing the season was over. The important Bulls played a lot of minutes and didn’t enjoy any of them.
Q-But the playoffs will refresh the Bulls’ spirits?
A-It is easier to enjoy the view if you enjoy climbing the mountain.
Q-Will the Bulls’ bench be helpful?
A-If the Bulls’ bench were firemen, they would take public transportation to the fire.
Q-What about Rodney McCray?
A-He doesn’t cause nostalgia for Cliff Levingston, he causes nostalgia for Dennis Hopson.
Q-Can Atlanta realistically be expected to beat the Bulls?
A-No.
Q-But with the Cavaliers likely to be next and then the Knicks, won’t this be the toughest road yet for the Bulls?
A-As Phil Jackson said, it’s still not Bosnia.
Q-Will Jackson’s coaching make any difference?
A-Not to Pat Riley.
Q-Public sentiment is still with the Bulls, isn’t it?
A-Fish, in-laws and even Michael Jordan can stay around too long.
Q-If not the Bulls, who?
A-TV loves the Knicks, but the greater public sentiment is for Phoenix and Charles Barkley.
Q-Patrick Ewing and Barkley in the final would be better than Jordan and Barkley?
A-Only to whoever is counting for knockdowns at the bell.
Q-If the Bulls win a third title, will they become an official dynasty?
A-The entry level minimum for dynasties is three championships in a row.
Q-So Jordan’s Bulls would be as great as Bill Russell’s Celtics?
A-Of these Bulls, only Jordan could start for Bill Russell’s Celtics.
Q-Doesn’t Jerry Krause deserve some credit for the job he has done?
A-His job was to put a frame around the Mona Lisa.
Q-Aren’t the playoffs the time Bill Cartwright is at his best?
A-Unfortunately.
Q-What’s the most difficult thing about winning three championships in a row?
A-Four-peat doesn’t rhyme.
