On the surface, adoption seems as if it should be a simple process. After all, what could be more straightforward than finding an unwanted child and giving it the care and love it needs?
But with a shortage of healthy babies and the cost of adoptions going as high as $25,000 or more, it takes the right combination of patience, perseverance and common sense to reach a happy ending.
The first step, and one of the most important on the path to adoption, is becoming well-informed about the laws in your state concerning adoption. And that means contacting the public agency in your area that provides adoption services.
“The last thing a couple or person should do is go into the process ignorant of how the laws read in their state regarding adoption,” says Debra Harder, program services director for Adoptive Families of America.
“Those laws vary, and people should be very familiar with what’s needed to successfully adopt. They shouldn’t rely on the `experts.’ ” They need to be knowledgeable themselves, so that when they’re being told something by a person that they’re working with, they know the truth.”
Once you’ve familiarized yourself with the legal requirements of your state, you have a wide and often bewildering array of options available to you. In fact, one of the biggest obstacles when starting out on the adoptive process is understanding the different methods of adoption. Each path differs by the type of child that it places, the costs of the adoption, the services that are offered and the waiting time.
About two-thirds of all adoptions in this country are arranged through private or public adoption agencies.
Private agencies should be licensed by the state, and they typically operate using fees from adoptive families or charitable contributions. Private agencies may or may not have a religious affiliation, and some organizations specialize in specific areas of adoption, such as placing children with special needs.
Costs at religious agencies range from a few hundred dollars to $8,000 or more for U.S. adoptions, and from $5,000 to $10,000 for international adoptions depending on the program, the country and related factors.
At private agencies, costs can range from about $8,000 to about $25,000, with fees sometimes lower for children with special needs. The higher cost of a non-denominational agency reflects a wider range of services to birthparents, which are passed on in the form of higher fees to the adoptive family.
Whatever agency you choose, you must comply with its requirements, which could range from strict to liberal, depending on the organization’s emphasis.
When searching for agencies, a number of questions should be asked. What type of adoptive parents does the agency seek? Does the agency concentrate on placing infants or older children? How many children did the agency place in the previous year? What preparation do they require from the adoptive parents? Does the agency provide any assistance after the adoption takes place?
“When people are looking at different agencies . . . they’re often walking in and being quoted a price, but they’re not asking questions,” said Harder.
Pam Prosch, director of outreach at The Cradle, an Evanston-based adoption agency that is one of the oldest in the country, says that there is a “winnowing-out” process that occurs when adoptive parents approach an agency.
Her organization works primarily with couples who have been married for three years, are between the ages of 25 and 40 and are infertile. If a couple is looking for a special needs baby, those requirements may be waived.
Waiting time for a child at The Cradle is around two years, and Prosch says the agency provides quite a bit of education on the adoption process during that period.
“We’re really looking for two things: The first is whether they have a stable marriage and (the second is) whether they have an appreciation of the birth mother’s situation and understand that raising an adopted child is not the exact same thing as raising a biological child.”
For adoptive parents who wish to have more control over the process, there are several other options. One of these, called independent adoption, uses the services of an intermediary, usually an adoption attorney. With independent adoption, you can play an active role in searching for a pregnant woman.
People choose independent adoption for different reasons. Waiting times are often shorter than those at agencies, though costs are as high, if not higher. If an adoptive couple is older than 40, or if they haven’t been married for very long, they sometimes choose independent adoption because they believe an adoption agency might not accept them.
Another method of adoption that has become increasingly popular is called identified adoption. This path, which is sometimes called agency-assisted adoption, is similar to independent adoption in that you can search for the birth mother on your own. Once a birth mother is found, an adoption agency is contacted and handles all the services needed by you and the birth mother.
With identified adoption, you’re financially responsible for the birth mother’s expenses, and you may be charged fees by the agency as well. With some agencies, you’re not even guaranteed that the baby you’ve identified will be placed with you. Once again, always check with an agency regarding their policies.
Adoption of children with special needs is usually handled by public agencies, though private agencies will also take you through the process.
Fees are typically low, and there is often financial assistance available, based on the child’s needs not the parents’. While adoption of a child with special needs can be challenging, the vast majority of them, around 85 percent, are successful and the satisfaction gained by the adoptive parents more than makes up for the struggles.
For more information on adoption, try one of the following agences: Adoptive Families of America, 3333 Highway 100 North, Minneapolis, Minn. 55422, 612-535-4829; National Adoption Clearinghouse, 11426 Rockville Pike, Suite 140, Rockville, Md., 20852, 301-231-6512; National Council for Adoption, 1930 17th St., N.W., Washington, D.C. 20009; 202-328-1200.
